History Page             

                                               610 649 NAIL ( 6245 )

   WARNING - THIS EVERYDAY BLOG USES STORIES AND LANGUAGE THAT WILL OFFEND........SOMETIMES.

                                                THE EVERYDAY LIFE OF A CLUB OWNER , FATHER , & A GUY.

                                                        SCROLL DOWN TO MOST RECENT DATE

     I continued the philosophy.....work hard ..........treat everyone with respect and have fun !!....and help promote the BANDS as much as possible......these are the basic ingredients.

Work hard :

     Wheels ( my wife ) gets upset at me. She accuses me of one thing , " you only care about THE NAIL".  She is right.  If parties come around or social gatherings , I always say lets go and at the last second, I would  have to work on bands , websites , or ideas. She would get upset and I would eventually go out , but I must drive her insane.  I have a sleep disorder. It's called sleep apnea. I sleep no more than 3 hours in a row. I use it to my advantage. When I get up in the middle of the night I would start working on NAIL promotions , websites , and business. I eat, sleep, and think THE NAIL. If I had to guess why I am so passionate about being a semi " successful " club.  It's probably because certain people were against us. They said it was a foolish idea and a saturated business. We would be throwing money away. I had to prove them wrong, not for their opinions , but for myself. One person does stick out .........Wheels and I were over a " friend's " house.  We'll call him " J ".   Having a couple of beers with some " friends ", we decided to tell everyone we bought The Nail.  J's brother-in-law, " T " , said " it is the worst business to get in and you will fail eventually" ( and this was a person that was successful and I respected back than). I will never ever ever forget that. Here we were ....proud owners of an established 60 year old nightclub that Wheels and I have been patronizing for 2 decades and now told we had no chance of making it.....not even a fake congratulations. He was the first of several to try to shoot our hopes down.  Every time someone projects negativity towards our bar..........I WORK EVEN HARDER THAN BEFORE................... RUDY of Notre Dame would shit his pants. We bought the club in January of 1997 and as of today , we have the longest tenure of ownership of any owner dating back to its opening day as " Humps Bar " in 1948. This is a huge monumental enormous gigantic accomplishment since all employees bailed on us eventually when times got tough. My claim to Un-fame......" In our first 2 years of ownership , we lost enough money to buy a house in Havertown." I had 4 jobs and Wheels had 3 to keep The Nail afloat. Our so called friends/employees did not know this. Wheels and I struggled for over 2 years working 60-65 hour work weeks.......you try it and see how long you last. We did it because we believed in the bar and ourselves. Yes we lost friends but true friends and family stuck with us. Little did we know the previous owner Mitch had Daddy buy him the bar as a college gift.  So the books looked outstanding without a MORTGAGE. We found out his numbers were all to be lies at the settlement table.  My famous antennas told me many times something was wrong , but we ended up driving the hard road. The quick story of the last owner and how we purchased The Nail. Wheels and I are sitting next to him at the bar one night. I say , " Hey Mitch , if you ever want to sell The Nail , Wheels and I would be interested. " He replies , " No , no , no , no , no I would never sell it. " He gets up and walks towards the front door. About midway he stops and comes right back to us and says , " Are you serious ? , we can meet tomorrow at Villanova Diner if you want ? "  Holy shit did my antennas go up , but they were so clouded by my overwhelming feeling that I could own the infamous Nail one day.  Anyway , back to the main story of employees and bailing friends. One old school employee left us because he wanted to get " out of the  business ". The next week he got a job at a another bar as a bartender......not so old school there.  These were the high hurdles Wheels and I had to endure.....day in and day out........by ourselves.   It was time to rebuild.

Treating people with respect :

     Its simple, treat people with some dignity , make some humor about myself ( usually about my penis size or sex life) and remove all angry people.........everybody should be treated the same. Saying jokes about myself makes people feel a little better about themselves and they say " you know what , I am not the only one that has money , health , or relationship problems.

Removing angry people:

      Major priority here......nothing worse than sitting next to a drunken idiot proclaiming all life's answers while he works at Burger King deep frying onion rings. A Havertown policeman once quoted to me...." we never get any calls at The Rusty Nail ".  I wonder how many bars can say that ?  It seems every weekend there are fights or altercations at other clubs.  This is our home and that's how we treat people. OUR ONE RULE , " GET IN A FIGHT......DONE FOR LIFE. "

Bands:

      When we started, I asked what can we do for the bands " promotionally " wise ?   The same old answer ," we did it all and nothing will help".  At the time, we were in 11 newspapers and had one generic monthly calendar.  So , one weekend, Wheels and I went up to our mountain house ( that we built with our own hands ) with "phonebooks" from all over the counties. We made a list of all the newspapers and internet companies.  I continue to make the list grow.  Now, we are in 56 newspapers and affiliates.........radio promos..........our websites (www.thenail1.com., Facebook/rustynail together average over 1500 " hits " a day....that's  unbelievable for such a small nightclub).......monthly calendars on time.......new illuminated outdoor sign............35 internet companies ...........mailing list............our own radio show ,  and it goes on. We have quadrupled the band intake. We let bands network with each other by having up to 4 bands or more on the weekends. I remember a phone call I took in 1999.  The person said, " we played THE NAIL a couple a months ago, we brought alot of people, had fun , and would like another gig ".  I said to him, " you mean no one has called you since than ? "  Right there and than I took over the booking. I call all bands every Monday ( or Tuesday sometimes ) before and after they play here ( no other owner does this).   Treat bands with respect...they are the backbone of THE NAIL They are the ones working hard to bring people in, practicing, promoting ,and such....so, why the hell wouldn't I help them?  I refuse to be the owner that's all drunk behind the bar with a disgusted face saying " they did not bring a 100 people....... they're done".  I give out my home phone number to prevent frustrating phone tag and usually have 20-30 minute conversations with each individual band on the first phone call (no other owner does this) . I know if I was in a band, I would like a direct link to the owner and have a respectable conversation. I put myself in the shoes of the band and tell them how much we appreciate them.  We lend out our PA system to bands playing at "other " clubs for FREE ( what the hell other owner does this ? ). Several times with my van and easy pass. We throw a huge "Wheelstock " party at our private vacation home that Wheels and I built ( 4 years to build ).........for 13 years it was completely free .... it was $20 for the last two years..... 330 people showed up last year ( damn hurricane ).....400 the year before ! Once again, a 4 day party and the NAIL supplies breakfast , lunch , dinner , beer , liquor , bands , and showers for everyone for 4 days ( show me one fucking owner that does this ??!!  Throws a party for 400 people for 4 days for FREE ??!! ). We ended it in 2006 because of the incredible amount of time , effort , wear & tear on our home , & neighbors being super pissed at us.

     Our website is updated everyday under the " history " link , not one day ever missed....this includes weekends, holidays , and vacations. I talk about my life as if it were a soap opera........and in this business it usually is......mostly for entertainment though (doing this since day one of the takeover ) ( no other club owner does this ).   I could go on and on and on.......no one comes close. I do all this because we do not have the luxury of the " walk in " crowd.  We need the bands to work a little harder for us .....that's why I work 10 times harder than any other club owner.

     We have our own radio show since 2005.  All bands get plugs on our radio show. All bands do live interviews to promote ALL their shows and express their music and songs. What the hell other owners help promote other clubs ?  Everyone helps a little......we help more. 

     We hope you join our little family.........simply known as THE NAIL

                    " LIVE AT THE NAIL "  RADIO SHOW   !!!

  We welcome these Radio Stations that promote our show

WWW.CYBERSTORMRADIO.COM    WWW.SRrocks.COM

              1370 WPAZ POTTSTOWN   WWW.RADIOFREEWORLDWIDE.COM

   HOLA 1600 am        WXVU 89.1 fm        KUR    88.3 fm

  WEXP 530 am         WWUV   90.7 fm     WVUM 90.1 fm       KUR    1670  am

  WWXU  91.1 fm      WWCY 89.5 fm       WIN 88.9 fm ( WIN 89 )

  WWEC  88.1 fm        WWNW  88.9 fm    WVUD  91.3 fm     Berks Cable ( Ch 24 )

  WPKN  89.5 fm        WPKM  88.7 fm      WDWN 89.1 fm      Hometown Utilicom ( Ch 41 )

  WPTC   88.1 fm        WCUC   91.7 fm      WSRN  91.5 fm      

  WDCV  88.3 fm        WXLV    90.3 fm     WRRG  88.9 fm      930 AM (The Cockroach)

  WRHS   89.7 fm        WVUD   91.3 fm     WIXQ 91.7 FM       WIXQ.COM             

BLACK CIRCUS RADIO ( DEAD CELL RECORDS )

 SHORTCAST.COM      WSJR  ( INTERNET )    WYBF  89.1 FM

  http://www.advancedrf.net

  WWW.THENAIL1.COM ( click on " radio show " on the left index on our home page. LISTEN AT ANYTIME )

 

                        WEBCASTED BY REAL AUDIO    

  ** Do you have a contact with a college, internet or commercial radio station ?  Any help to air our FREE show would be greatly appreciated.  We are here to help the local bands of our communities.  Our format is simple. We interview bands. The bands express their opinions and songs through their music.......with alittle fun too. **  This would increase our relationship with your band and The Nail nightclub.**

             PERFORMED LIVE EVERY SUNDAY NIGHT AT 6 PM

                                     ** ALL BANDS GET PROMOTED **

                  ALL BANDS GET LIVE INTERVIEWS , CD EXPOSURE , ETC..  **

                                              NO OTHER CLUB DOES THIS !! 

   We made our point ............work hard , respect , and promote.  All businesses.....whether in a band or selling corn on the cob ........ should have this mentality and attitude.

                                              ***  BOOKING CONTACT AT  mailto:thenail1@comcast.net   ***

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        SUNDAY         4 - 30 - 17

        SOMETIMES YOU FEEL LIKE A CELEBRITY...........ITS NICE.

        I FEEL LIKE I AM BACK IN COLLEGE. THIS MORNING I HELPED OUR ELDEST WITH A RESEARCH PAPER AND OTHER ASSIGNMENTS. I WAS IMPRESSED AS THE KID SEEMED LIKE SHE KNEW WHAT SHE WAS DOING.

        NEXT WAS A FRIEND COMING OVER AND HELPING ME WORK ON LAWN MOWERS.  WE GOT ONE OUT OF 2 TO WORK. THE ONE WE DID A TOTAL MACGYVER ON. I AM AFRAID IT MAY BURN OUT ONE THE FIRST CUT. BASICALLY WE SET THE ENGINE TO SUPER HIGH.  I BELIEVE THE BLADE SPINS SO FAST NOW THE LAWNMOWER ACTUALLY HOVERS.  WHEN OFFERING MONEY OR OPEN BAR MY FRIEND SAID , " NO MAN , THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS DO. "  MY EXACT MOTTO THAT I HAVE BEEN HELPING FRIENDS AND FAMILY 100'S AND 100'S OF TIMES.

        I CUT THE LAWNS AND MAN WAS THE MOWER SMOKING WHEN I TURNED IT OFF.

        OFF TO THE NAIL TO PREP FOR LIVE AT THE RADIO SHOW. WE RAN INTO TECH PROBLEMS SINCE OUR LIVE FEED CHANGED THEIR FORMAT AND WANT MORE MONEY......BASTARDS.  BUT THE SHOW ENDED UP EXCELLENT.  I LIKE TO THANK THE BANDS CLOUD 9 FLY OR DIE , DISINHUME , AND MIDHEAVEN.  THE SHOW HAD A TON OF LAUGHS AND BEING ASKED FOR PICTURES AND GETTING SO MANY THANK YOU'S WAS PRETTY COOL.  ( I WON'T LET IT GET TO MY HEAD )

        WE HUNG OUT AFTER THE RADIO SHOW AND MINGLED WITH THE BANDS AND FRIENDS.  IT WAS A VERY GOOD CROWD AND IT WAS FUN.

        BACK HOME I CHILLED WITH EVERYONE.  IT WAS A LONG DAY SO OFF TO BED.

        MONDAY       5 - 1 - 17

        APRIL SHOWERS BRING MAY FLOWERS IN OUR NAIL AIR CONDITIONERS. YEP ,THEIR DEAD F'N FLOWERS.

        APRIL WAS SUCH A GOOD MONTH OF FINDING OUT WE WILL BE SAVING MONEY ON DIFFERENT FRONTS.  I MEAN I ACTUALLY FELT GREAT ABOUT OUR BILLS BEING PAID ON TIME.  THAN......MAY 1ST ARRIVED WITH A PUNCH TO THE NUT SACK AND A SLAP TO MY 3 INCH DICK. ( THAT'S ERECTED )

        I HEAD TO THE NAIL EARLY TO MEET OUR A/C TECHNICIAN.  OUR AIR CONDITIONER WAS NOT WORKING SO I JUMPED ON IT RIGHT AWAY.  HE SPENT SOME TIME ON THE ROOF AND WHEN HE ENTERED THE NAIL I ASKED , " SO LET ME HEAR IT ? " HIS BODY LANGUAGE TOLD ME THE STORY.......I AM SO FUCKED. HE RESPONDS , " YOU'RE NOT GOING TO LIKE IT. " HE WAS RIGHT.......I DIDN'T.

        SO , NOT ONLY DID I FIND OUT ONE 5 TON AIR CONDITIONER WAS DOWN BUT BOTH. YEP THE MAIN ROOM AND BAR-SIDE ROOFTOP 5 TON UNITS WERE INOPERABLE.  THE COST TO FIX THEM.......6 FUCKING THOUSAND DOLLARS.  YEP , I'M SCREWED. 

         I BEGIN MAKING A PUNCH LIST AND IT IS GROWING EVERY MINUTE.  TRYING TO TROUBLE SHOOT THE MONITORS WAS ON THE LIST.  I TALKED TO OUR SOUND GUY AFTER I MESSED WITH IT........STILL NOT RESOLVED. I AM STILL THINKING $6,000......FUCK !!!

        NEXT , VACUUM THE 100'S OF FEATHERS ON OUR FLOOR.  YEP,  THE SATURDAY NIGHT BAND DURIGN THEIR HACIENDA EXPLODED SOME SORT OF COLORFUL CHICKEN. WE HAD EVERY RAINBOW COLOR OF FEATHERS ON OUR FLOORS. I GET THE VACUUM ANNNNNNNNNND IT DOESN'T WORK.  I SPEND AN HOUR COMPLETELY TAKING IT APART.  FIXING VACUUMS ARE MY STUPID PET PEEVE. I FOUND THE PROBLEM AND PUT EVERYTHING BACK TOGETHER. I HAD EXTRA SCREWS OF COURSE.  I ALSO CLEANED IT AND CHANGED THE BAG WHICH WAS ABOUT TO GIVE BIRTH.

        4 HOURS LATER I ROLL HOME EXHAUSTED THINKING HOW TO RAISE 6 GRAND.

        START HELPING ELDEST WITH SCHOOL WORK AGAIN. IT WAS NOT FUN.

        CRAIGSLIST MAY STRIKE AGAIN.......WE'LL SEE.

        BY 9PM WE WERE BURNT OUT.  WHEELS AND I WATCH 2 EXCELLENT EPISODES OF " BATES MOTEL ". THIS SHOW IS NOW 2ND ON MY LAST AND A DAMN CLOSE TO " BREAKING BAD "WHICH IS NUMBER 1.  OH , SEEING RIHANNA IN JUST A G-STRING AND THAN ENTERING THE SHOWER NAKED WAS GOOD TOO. THE SHOW IS BROADCASTED ON REGULAR CABLE CHANNEL A & E.

        THE PUP SEEMS TO BE DOING WELL AFTER SURGERY. I CAN TELL BECAUSE EVERY TIME I LEAVE THE ROOM AND COME BACK HER CONE IS OFF HER HEAD. SHE ALWAYS LOOKS AT ME LIKE ," PRETTY COOL TRICK EH ? "

        PHILLIES WITH A BIG WIN AFTER THE HEARTBREAKING CRUSHING LOSSES IN L.A.

        OFF TO BED COMPLETELY FALLING ASLEEP BY 11PM.  I SLEPT GREAT UNTIL 3:30AM.  I FINALLY GOT UP AT 5AM AFTER SQUIRMING AROUND AND THINKING ABOUT BANGING RIHANNA IN THE SHOWER.

        TUESDAY    5 - 2 - 17

        YOU WANT A STORY..........I WILL GIVE A FREAKIN' STORY.

        SO WHAT DO YOU THINK ATE AT MY GUT MORE?  $6000 TO FIX OUR TWO 5 TON A/C UNITS OR GETTING A FUCKING $20 PARKING TICKET ?

        MAN , APRIL WAS THE MONTH OF AWESOMENESS AND MAY FEELS LIKE SOME DOG BIT MY BALLS.  MONEY FLOWING OUT THE F'N WINDOW. I AM JUST IN A HORRIBLE MOOD.  PLUS , I DREAMT ABOUT AN OLD REGULAR AT THE NAIL WHO WANTED ME TO GIVE HIM A HAND JOB.......YES A FREAKIN' HAND JOB.  EVEN IN MY DREAMS I CAN'T HAVE A PIECE OF ASS GIRL WANTING TO ROLL MY FAT INTO MY COCK AREA.

        I DRIVE OUR ELDEST BACK TO COLLEGE AND SHE TELLS ME IT IS COOL TO PARK IN A LOT BEHIND THE BOOK STORE. IT IS A BIG LOT WITH CARS ALL OVER. I SEE A SIGN FOR PERMITS BUT PARK ANY WAY.  I RETURN FROM THE BOOK STORE IN 10 MINUTES AND THERE IS A YELLOW TICKET ON MY CAR.  I WAS FRIGGIN' INCENSED. THE ONLY GOOD THING WAS THE WALK FROM THE BOOK STORE TO MY CAR. I FOLLOWED THIS GIRL WEARING SPANDEX WITH THE NICEST ASS I HAVE EVER SEEN.  I WALKED BEHIND HER WITH MY RIGHT HAND IN MY POCKET FOR ABOUT 1 MINUTE AND THAN VEERED OFF BECAUSE I SO STICK OUT ON A COLLEGE CAMPUS. FAT GUY IN A LITTLE COAT.

        UP SUPER EARLY AND I GOT A 1000 THINGS DONE. RADIO SHOW WAS EDITED , POSTED ON FACEBOOK , DOWNLOAD TO GOOGLE , AND UPLOADED TO OUR WEBSITE.  MAY CALENDARS MADE AND SENT. I RECEIVED A LARGE BEER ORDER. I HELP EDIT AN ESSAY ABOUT A 1955 MOVIE ON UNIONS.  I CLEANED , I POOPED , I HAD A BANANA , AND I STILL FEEL FAT.

        PLAYED SOME SCRABBLE GAMES ON THE INTERNET.  I ACTUALLY TIED A NICE GIRL IN TENNESSEE.  WE CHATTED ALITTLE AND IT WAS FUN.

        OFF TO THE LIQUOR STORE TO RECEIVE A BIG ORDER.  THEY WERE SUPER FAST AND THE CUTE GIRL WANTED ME SO BAD. 

        YES , PEOPLE I HAVE NO LIFE.  MARRIED 30 YEARS AND I LOOK LIKE JABBA THE HUT.

        HEY LET'S SPEND MORE MONEY ?!  EH ??  TALKED TO THIS SUPER COOL GUY WHO GOT GREAT REVIEWS ON FIXING LAWNMOWERS AND SUCH.  HE ACTUALLY COMES TO YOUR HOUSE. I FRIGGIN SPENT 40 MINUTES TALKING ABOUT HOGAN'S HEROES AND OLD DETECTIVE SHOWS WITH HIM.

        ARRIVE AT THE NAIL AND UNLOAD AND BEGIN MY 50 CHORES.  I HAVE BEEN UP SINCE 3:30AM AND FEEL LIKE GOING TO SLEEP AT 6PM.

        SIT DOWN AND TALK INSURANCE WITH A REP.  HE IS ACTUALLY PRETTY COOL AND WE TALK ABOUT OTHER STUFF BESIDES INSURANCE SINCE I DON'T KNOW DICK ABOUT IT. SO , ANY INSURANCE QUESTIONS I CALLED WHEELS AND HANDED OVER THE PHONE.

        I WATCH OUR PHILLIES GET SMOKED BY THE CUBS ALONG WITH OTHER SPORTS.

        BUT AT 10:30PM MY CALM COOL PEACEFUL MOMENTS WOULD TURNED INTO A CIRCUS.  YOU JUST CAN'T MAKE THIS SHIT UP.

        HERE WE GO ............... AT 10:15PM THE LAST PEOPLE LEFT THE NAIL. I AM SO FRICKIN' TIRED I AM THINKING OF SLEEPING ON A POOL TABLE.  BUT IN COMES A PRETTY GOOD LOOKING GIRL. I THOUGHT , " OKAY , THIS COULD BE GOOD TO WIND DOWN THE NIGHT. FANTASIZING ABOUT THIS 25 YEAR OLD COULD BE FUN. THOUGH I KNOW WHO WOULD WANT A 55 YEAR OLD BALD FAT LARGE ASSED MAN.  OK , LET'S SEE WHERE THIS GOES. "

        AT 10:16PM I REALIZE THIS GIRL IS A COMPLETE WHACK JOB.  SHE BEGINS CRYING UNCONTROLLABLY AND WHIMPERS THE WHOLE TIME ABOUT HER BOYFRIEND LEAVING HER. I CAN NOT UNDERSTAND HER BECAUSE SHE IS MUMBLING HER WORDS.  I THOUGHT IT WAS BECAUSE SHE  WAS CRYING SO HARD BUT I SOON REALIZE SHE IS DRUNK. OH........MY.......GOD !!!

        SHE ASKS FOR A RUM & COKE BUT I PUT NO RUM IN IT.  THE GIRL IS DEFINITELY DRUNK AND AFTER WHAT I BEEN THROUGH I AM SERVING NOTHING TO HER. I WANT TO CLOSE , GO HOME , DRINK A TON , AND RUB ONE OFF BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN STRESSED OUT THE LAST 48 HOURS.

        SO THIS IS WHERE BIG DADDY AGAIN GETS SUCKERED IN TO THE " I'M A DAD " THING. I SEE THE GIRL IS SUPER UPSET SO I ASK HER HOW SHE GOT HERE. SHE NEVER GIVES ME A STRAIGHT ANSWER. BUT SHE DOES TELL ME SHE LIVES IN DOWNINGTOWN.  I CALL A CAB COMPANY AND THEY CHARGE $2.70 A MILE. I FIGURE IT IS AT LEAST A 45 MINUTE RIDE AND 25 MILES. PROBABLY LOOKING AT $70.  THAT IS TOO EXPENSIVE SO WE TRY UBER. I CALL WHEELS AND MY ELDEST FOR HELP. UNFORTUNATELY , I CAN'T DO DICK WITH UBER BECAUSE YOU NEED TO SIGN-UP AND PLACE A CREDIT DOWN.

        BUT WAIT ? SHE TELLS ME SHE HAS AN UBER ACCOUNT.  SHE IS SPEAKING SOME SORT OF ALIEN LANGUAGE BUT I SEMI- UNDERSTAND. SHE IS LIKE MONGO TALKING EVEN SLOWER. I LOG-IN ON MY COMPUTER AND WE NEED A CELL PHONE NUMBER AND A PASSWORD.  THIS IS WHERE WE HIT A STOP SIGN. I ASK HER FOR THE PASSWORD. SHE SAYS ANDI BEGIN TYPING , " Q , V. BANANA , 4 , ONE , CIGARETTE , 6 , MOMMY , 2 , 0 , AIRPLANE. "   YES I WASN'T SURPRISED IT DIDN'T WORK. I ALLOW HER TO USE MY COMPUTER TO TRY TYPING IN THE PASSWORD. I TURN MY HEAD SO I DON'T SEE THE PASSWORD SHE IS TYPING. I TURN BACK AND SHE TYPED , " MY BOYFRIEND IS A FUCK. "  YEP , THAT PASSWORD DIDN'T WORK EITHER.

        SO NOW WHAT DO I DO ? THE FATHERLY INSTINCT REARS ITS' STUPID HEAD AND I OFFER TO DRIVE HER TO DOWNINGTOWN.  YEP , I AM AN IDIOT. IF I LET THIS GIRL LEAVE WITH NO PHONE AND THIS DRUNK SHE COULD BE IN SOME SERIOUS TROUBLE. MY ONE MAIN THING I TOLD HER 20 TIMES , " IF I GET YOU TO DOWNINGTOWN WILL YOU BE ABLE TO GIVE ME DIRECTIONS TO GET TO YOUR HOUSE ?" SHE REPLIED , " I WANT A COCONUT. "

        THE RIDE :

         GETTING HER IN MY JEEP WAS FUN. THE PASSENGER DOOR WAS CLOSE TO THE WALL SO YOU HAD TO GET IN BY BEING BEHIND IT......BASICALLY STANDING AT THE PASSENGER BACK  DOOR BECAUSE IF YOU OPENED IT THE DOOR WOULD BLOCK YOU.  WELL I WATCHED FOR ABOUT 45 SECONDS AS SHE TRIED TO CRAWL UNDER THE OPEN DOOR TO ACCESS THE SEAT. IT WAS LIKE WATCHING FLIPPER THE DOLPHIN SWIM UPSTREAM ON A SLIDING BOARD.  I FINALLY SAY ," YOU'RE KIDDING ME RIGHT ? "  I CLOSE THE DOOR , PICK HER UP , MOVE HER BACK A BIT , RE-OPEN THE DOOR , AND POUR HER IN AND SAY , " PUT YOUR SEAT BELT ON.

        THE DOG :

        I ASK HER , " IS THERE ANYONE AT YOUR HOUSE THAT WE CAN MEET IN DOWNINGTOWN ? " SHE REPLIES , " MY MOM. "  I SAY , " OK GOOD. CAN WE MEET HER SOMEWHERE TO PICK YOU UP ? " SHE REPLIES , " NO SHE'S WATCHING THE DOG. " I REPLY , " DO YOU THINK SHE CAN NOT WATCH THE DOG FOR 10 MINUTES TO GET YOU ? " SHE MUMBLES , " NO SHE CAN'TSH , CAUSE SHEEZ HAS TO WOOTCH THE DOGSSHH. "  I WAIT ABOUT 5 SECONDS TO CALM MYSELF DOWN.  I FEEL IF I THROW HER IN THE BACK CREEK BEHIND THE NAIL SHE WOULD FLOAT TO UPPER DARBY AND I COULDN'T BE SUED.

        THE DRIVE :

        I BEGIN DRIVING UP HAVERFORD ROAD AND THAN TO CONESTOGA. I TELL HER, " IF YOU DON'T GIVE ME THE RIGHT DIRECTIONS I AM GOING TO TAKE YOU TO THE POLICE STATION." I ACTUALLY THINK OF CALLING WHEELS TO RIDE WITH ME BUT I KNOW SHE WOULD CALL ME A JERK-OFF. I DRIVE BY MY HOUSE AND ASK THE GIRL , " IS THERE ANYONE YOU KNOW THAT COULD MEET US SOMEWHERE THAT IS NOT WATCHING A DOG ? " SHE REPLIES , " NO......THE DOG DOESN'T DRIVE YA SILLY CHICKEN. " RIGHT AFTER THE WORD " CHICKEN " I THINK ABOUT PUTTING MY HEAD OUT MY DRIVER'S SIDE WINDOW AND SIDE SWIPING A TELEPHONE POLE. I FIGURE A QUICK BEHEADING IS BETTER THAN WHAT I AM GOING THROUGH.

        WE CONTINUE DRIVING ON CONESTOGA ROAD AND I AM APPROACHING ROUTE 320. I THINK TO MYSELF , " CALL HER MOM ".

        THE CALL :

        I AM IN WAYNE AND ASK HER TO DIAL MY CELL PHONE TO CALL HER MOM. I HAND HER MY PHONE AND SHE BEGINS TO START BRUSHING HAIR WITH IT.  I PULL OVER AND TAKE MY PHONE BACK.  I ASK HER FOR THE NUMBER AND MIRACULOUSLY IT IS RIGHT. I TALK TO MOM.  MOM IS A WRECK AND SUPER WORRIED. I TELL HER WHO I AM AND THAT I AM BRINGING HER DAUGHTER HOME TO DOWNINGTOWN. MOM SAYS WITH A PANICKED VOICE , " NO NO DON'T COME HERE. I HAVE MY OTHER DAUGHTER IN ARDMORE SEARCHING FOR HER. I TURN TO MS. DRUNKY AND SAY , " WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU HAD A SISTER ?"  SHE REPLIES , " I HAVE TWO....YEAH ME!! DID YOU HEAR THAT ? " BACK TO MOM AND I SAY , " PLEASE GIVE YOUR DAUGHTER MY CELL AND HAVE HER CALL ME. " I TURN AROUND ON LANCASTER AVENUE AND HEAD BACK TO ARDMORE AREA.  THE GIRL STARTS YELLING , " AHHHAAA HAHAHAHAHA AHHHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU HAVE TO TURNAROUND !!  I TOLD YA DUDE. YA DON'T LISTEN DUDE ".  I SAY TO MYSELF , " NOW SHE SPEAKS COHERENTLY. "

        THE SISTER:

        THE SISTER CALLS ME AND SAYS SHE IS IN SUBURBAN SQUARE. I TELL HER TO START DRIVING TOWARDS VILLANOVA.  I ALSO TELL HER I WANT TO STAY ON THE PHONE UNTIL WE SEE EACH OTHER.  SOON AS MS. HAMMERED HEARS HER SISTER IS ON THE PHONE SHE BEGINS SCREAMING HER NAME AND LAUGHING.  SHE IS YELLING , " YO SIS !! I TOLD HIM !! I TOLD HIM !! HE WOULDN'T LISTEN BUD !!  HE WOULD LISTEN BUD !! YEP WOULDN'T LISTEN BUD !! SORRY BUD !! SORRY BUD !!" I AM TRYING TO TALK HER SISTER AND ASK HER TO QUIET DOWN AND HAVE SOME RESPECT.  WELL , SHE GOT LOUDER WITH THE " BUD " THING.  SHE REALLY THOUGHT SHE TOLD ME TO STAY IN ARDMORE UNTIL HER SISTER ARRIVED. I SHOULD OF TOLD HER BIGFOOT CAN MEET US AT ARDMORE PIZZA. AT ANY SECOND I COULD RIGHT ELBOW HER TO SLEEP.

        THE SISTER IS IN BRYN MAWR NOW AND I AM IN VILLANOVA. I TELL  HER TO MEET ME IN THE PARKING LOT OF HOPE'S COOKIES WHERE THERE ARE 2 CERAMIC COWS.....YOU CAN'T MISS 'EM. WELP , AS SOON AS I SAID THE WORD " COWS " I KNEW THAT WAS WRONG.  THE GIRL STARTS LAUGHING AND YELLING , " HEY YOU FUCKING COWS !! HOW ABOUT I MILK YA !! YEAH I'MA COW !! GOOOOO COWS !!! I LIKE COWS. " IF I HAD A GUN I BE IN PRISON RIGHT NOW.

        I BACK MY JEEP IN WITH MY LIGHTS POINTING TOWARDS LANCASTER AVENUE. I FLASH THEM EVERY SO OFTEN AND THE SISTER AND HER BOYFRIEND FINALLY PULLS IN. THEY GET OUT AND THE BOYFRIEND HUGS THE GIRL AND SAYS I LOVE YOU. I THOUGHT THIS WAS KINDA WEIRD. I TALK TO THE SISTER WHO SEEMS PRETTY COOL AND I TELL HER SHE LOOKS FAMILIAR.  IT ENDS UP SHE WORKS AT AN ITALIAN RESTAURANT IN WAYNE. WE EXCHANGE SOME PLEASANTRIES AND I ROLL HOME.

         I CALL THE MOM TO TELL HER ALL IS GOOD. SHE THANKS ME ABOUT 30 TIMES WHILE CRYING. MY GOOD DEED WAS DONE.

         WHEN I GOT HOME I DRANK LIKE 10 MEN............IF NOT ONE.

        WEDNESDAY       4 - 4 - 17

        HOUSTON.......WE HAVE LIFT OFF.

        MAN DID I WASTE TIME LOOKING ONLINE FOR STUFF.  WEBSITE DID NOT GET DONE UNTIL 4:30PM.

        I RODE MY YOUNGEST ON THE NEW BIKE AND THE KID FELT UNCOMFORTABLE AND UNSAFE WITHOUT A BACKREST. SO I SPENT ALOT OF TIME ON MOTORCYCLE WEBSITES ALONG WITH EBAY AND AMAZON.  EBAY WON. I AM AMAZED THE DIFFERENCE OF PRICE FROM EBAY TO THE ACTUAL STORE THAT SELLS THE PRODUCT. YOU CAN SAVE AS MUCH AS 70%.

        MAJOR MIX-UP FOR BANDS FRIDAY NIGHT. I KNEW AND FELT IT FOR SEVERAL DAYS NOW. IT IS REALLY  BOTHERING ME.

        I SPENT ALOT OF TIME TRYING TO FINISH THE NAIL SHIRT ORDER. I AM DOWN TO 2 COMPANIES.  ONE COMPANY RESPONDS SUPER FAST AND IT IS SUPER EFFICIENT. THE OTHER COMPANY IS A FRIEND AND I HAVE USED THEM SEVERAL TIMES IN THE PAST.

        YOU KNOW WHAT IS NOT FAIR ?

          A) GOING TO BED EXHAUSTED AFTER 12 MIDNIGHT........AND WAKING UP AT 3:30AM.

          B) WAKING UP AT 3:30AM BECAUSE WATER IS LEAKING OUT OF MY DARTH VADAR MASK.  YEP , DURING THE COURSE OF THE NIGHT MY DEATH STAR MACHINE FLIPPED OVER SPEWING WATER ALL OVER THE BED AND DOWN THE TUBING THAT LEADS TO MY FAT FACE.  I WOKE UP LIKE I WAS AT SEA WORLD AND KIDS WERE THROWING SARDINES AT ME.

        GREAT TO HEAR OUR YOUNGEST GOT A GOOD REVIEW ON HER FIRST DAY ON THE JOB.

        PHILLIES BLOW LEAD AND BLOW.

        DAMN THE PENGUINS SMOKE THE CAPITALS EVERY FRIGGIN' YEAR.

        OUT OF SIGHT , OUT OF MIND. I AM ATTEMPTING TO ONLY BRING BEER HOME FOR HEELS. SHE HAS ONE A NIGHT.  I REALLY LIKE TO PHASE OUT BRANDY.  NO BEER = NO BRANDY......IN THEORY.

        VACATION WEBSITES - I USE THIS ONE SITE BUT THEY HAVE SUPER RESTRICTIONS AND HIGH FEES SO I ASK PEOPLE NOT TO PUT A DEPOSIT DOWN USING A CREDIT CARD.  IF THEY DO AND I DO NOT ACCEPT THEIR WANTED DATES I GET AN " X ".  FOUR " X'S " AND THEY TAKE OUR AD OFFLINE.  WELP , A 4TH PROSPECTIVE RENTER PUT CREDIT CARD NUMBERS IN FOR DATES ALREADY BOOKED.  I GOT A 4TH AND FINAL " X " AND THE SITE BLOCKED OUR AD. A SEMI-LONG CALL TO A SUPER NICE REP GOT ME 2 MORE " X'S ".  YEAH !!!...............................I'M A LOSER.

        WHEELS GETS TREATED TO THE COUNTRY CLUB.  GOOD FOOD AND A TON OF GOLFERS COMING OUT OF ONE ROOM.  SHE SAID IT LOOKED LIKE A SCENE FROM CLOWNS AT A CIRCUS COMING OUT OF A CAR.

        CRAIGSLIST - AGAIN SOMEONE CONTACTS ME ABOUT MY MOTORCYCLE. I GET A TEXT , " IS YOUR MAGNA 750 STILL FOR SALE ? "  I INSTANTLY REPLY , " YES ".  THAT WAS 4 DAYS AGO.

        CRAIGSLIST PART II - A FAMILY MEMBER AND I FIND A WEED WHACKER FOR SALE.  IT ENDS UP THE GUY WORKS AT THE VERY SAME PLACE MY FAMILY MEMBER DOES.  WE EXCHANGE EMAILS 10 TIMES AND FINALLY I WRITE , " OKAY , WHEN IS A GOOD TIME TO MEET ? " THAT WAS 4 DAYS AGO. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE ?  A 2 SECOND REPLY EMAIL IS ALL IT TAKES. ANYTHING...........LIKE " HEY , I THINK YOUR A DICK SO I AM NOT SELLING YOU MY WEED WHACKER.....GO EAT AND WHACK SHIT. "  SEE , IS IT THAT HARD ?

        " HOUSTON , WE ARE GOOD TO GO !! " - ROLL TO THE NAIL TO MEET WITH OUR SOUNDMAN.  BESIDES OWING 19 THOUSAND DOLLARS IN BILLS THE MONITORS FOR OUR P.A. SYSTEM WAS ANOTHER PROBLEM ON MY MIND. WE CAUGHT A BREAK AND HE TROUBLE SHOT THE SITUATION WHILE I DRANK BLACK BERRY BRANDY AND SHOT POOL.  WE MAKE A GOOD TEAM. ACTUALLY , HE FOUND THE PROBLEM IN 15 MINUTES.......A LOOSE SEMI- FAULTY OUTPUT JACK.  WE CAUGHT A BREAK AND THAT WAS AWESOME.  I EVEN TRIED TO THROW HIM SOME CASH BUT HE WENT OLD SCHOOL WITH ME AND DID NOT ACCEPT.  ACTUALLY , HE TOLD ME TO , " PUT IT TOWARDS THE A/C BILL. " I WILL EXACTLY DO THAT.  BIG THANKS AGAIN.

        AFTER DINNER WHEELS AND SOME FAMILY STOP AT THE NAIL. IT WAS A NICE SURPRISE. 

        WE WRAP UP THE NIGHT AND I HEAD HOME.  ANOTHER LONG WEEKEND AND A BIG SIDE JOB FRIDAY.....UGH. 

        NO BRANDY OR BEER TODAY AND I HAVE TO ADMIT I FEEL 100X BETTER THE NEXT MORNING.........EVEN THOUGH I ONLY GOT 3 HOURS SLEEP.

        THURSDAY     5 - 4 - 17

        AND THE BURNING OF MONEY CONTINUES.........MAN IT IS SO DEPRESSING.

        OK , THE BAND AND OUR FRIENDS OF " SOCKO " ARE BACK ON FOR FRIDAY NIGHT.  A 99 CENT SHOT FROM 99 BANANAS LIQUORE WILL BE A SPECIAL......FOR CINCO DE MAYO.  WHY WE ARE USING 99 BANANAS I DO NOT KNOW BUT WHAT THE  HELL.I HEAR FREE TACOS WILL BE AT THE NAIL TOO.

        SO I BOUGHT THIS SUPER COOL BACKREST / LUGGAGE RACK ON EBAY FOR MY MOTORCYCLE. I ENJOY RIDING MY KIDS AND WHEELS AND IF IT MADE THEM UNCOMFORTABLE THAN I WILL RESOLVE THE PROBLEM BY INSTALLING A SISSY BAR.  ANYWAY , IT IS ALL CHROME AND SHAPED LIKE A SEMI-ROUNDED TRIANGLE. THE LUGGAGE RACK FLIPS UP OR DOWN. IT IS SUPER BADASS AND THE REVIEWS ON THIS PRODUCT BY CONSUMERS ARE PHENOMENAL.  THE FREE DELIVERY COMES IN 2 DAYS AND ARRIVES TODAY. I SAY , " OK COOL. I WILL TAKE ONE HOUR OUT OF MY DAY AND INSTALL THE PRODUCT. "  NOW THE PRICE I GOT WAS 50% CHEAPER THAN THE STORE.  I OPEN THE BOX AND SEE THE WORDS , " MUST BE INSTALLED WITH MANUFACTURER'S DESIGNED SIDE PLATES "  WAIT.......WHAT ?

        I NEVER SAW IN BIG WORDS OR WARNING WORDS " THIS PRODUCT MUST BE BOUGHT WITH SIDE PLATES SEPARATELY !!!  DO NOT BUY IT ALONE !!! MUST BUY WITH SIDE PLATES !!! DON'T BE AN IDIOT AND BUY THIS INDIVIDUALLY....DUMB ASS"  THAT WOULD OF  BEEN A NICE SIGN TO SEE. BUT NO , I GET SUCKERED IN AGAIN. THE SEMI-GOOD THING IS THERE IS A SMALL SILVER LINING. I CALL THE COMPANY IN OKLAHOMA AND THEY ARE OUT OF BUSINESS OR CLOSED......NICE.  I CALL THE SAME COMPANY IN FLORIDA AND GET A REALLY COOL SALES REP.  HER NAME WAS DONNA.  I SAY I NEED THE SIDE PLATES AND SHE MATCHES IT WITH MY NEW BIKE.  I FIGURE WHAT CAN LITTLE 8 INCH SIDE PLATES COST..........$25 ?  I TELL HER THIS AND SHE PAUSES AND SAYS , " YOU'RE NOT GOING TO LIKE THE PRICE. " I RESPOND , " FUNNY , ALOT OF PEOPLE HAVE BEEN TELLING ME THAT THIS PAST WEEK. "  SHE TELLS ME THE PRICE IS $107.  I BELIEVE A LITTLE POOP CAME OUT MY ASS.  I GIVE A BIG SIGH AND BUM OUT FOR THE NEXT MINUTE WHILE TALKING TO HER. SHE SAYS TO ME , " LET ME SEE IF I CAN HELP YOU OUT. "  I LIKE THOSE WORDS.  IN THE END SHE DROPPED THE PRICE TO $77 AND MADE IT FREE SHIPPING.  SHE TELLS ME , " HOPEFULLY THIS TAKES THE STING OUT OF IT ALITTLE. " I REPLY , " IT DOES, THANKS "

        SCRAMBLING AROUND TO GET THINGS DONE AND I GET THE CALL FROM MY A/C TECH.  THE MAIN ROOM A/C CONDENSER IS IN AND THEY WANT TO INSTALL IT TODAY.  I ARRIVE AT 2PM AND LET THEM IN. HE TELLS ME HE WILL BE AT THE NAIL UNTIL 7PM.  HE ALSO WANTS ANOTHER CHECK BEFORE THE BANKS CLOSE.  OH MAN THIS IS GOING TO HURT. I SAY , " WAIT , I AM PAYING YOU IN FULL BEFORE THE JOB IS COMPLETE ?  WHAT IF IT DOESN'T WORK ? " HE ASSURES ME IT WILL ALL BE GOOD AND HE HAS MY BACK.  THAT MADE ME GIGGLE THAT HE THINKS ALL WILL GO WELL AND THE A/C WILL BE WORKING CORRECTLY.......A GOOD LAUGH.  I ROLL HOME.

        GET A CALL FROM THE A/C TECH AND HE SAYS ," WE GOT A PROBLEM ".  I REPLY , " GEE , NEVER SAW THAT COMING. "  WE HAVE TO CALL P.E.C.O. BECAUSE THERE IS NO POWER COMING INTO YOUR METER.  I SHAKE MY HEAD AND MAKE THE FUCKING CALL TO EMERGENCY SERVICES.  I TALK TO P.E.C.O. AND STRICTLY INSTRUCT THEM THAT THE TECH MUST CALL ME BEFORE ARRIVING. THERE IS NO ONE AT OUR BUSINESS SO THEY MUST CALL.  DISPATCH ASSURES ME AND THEY NEVER CALLED.

        I CALL BACK OUR A/C TECH AND HE TELLS ME HE WILL HANG OUT A LITTLE MORE. HE WILL ORDER DINNER VIA ARDMORE PIZZA. OUR BARTENDER SHOULD BE ARRIVING TOO.  SO BOTH WILL MEET WITH P.E.CO.

        WHEELS , MYSELF , AND OUR YOUNGEST TAKE A RIDE TO COLLEGE TO START MOVING OUT OUR ELDEST. THE KID HAS ONE MORE WEEK TO GO BEFORE THE SEMESTER ENDS. I BRING A HAND TRUCK FOR THE SMALL REFRIGERATOR AND WHEN ARRIVING I MAKE AN UNBELIEVABLE CALL TO BORROW A VERY LARGE BASKET TYPE CART.......HUGE. WE ARRIVE AT HER ROOM AND THE ROOM MATE IS IN BED.  THE KID IS NOT WEARING MUCH WITH HALF HER MELONS HANGING OUT.....A PIECE OF ASS.  NOT RIGHT TO SAY BUT I HAVE NO LIFE AND I AM MISERABLE FROM THE MONEY FLOWING OUT OF OUR BANK ACCOUNTS.  ANYWAY , WE LOAD IN 10 MINUTES AND A NEW RECORD.  WE PACK OUR CAR AND ROLL HOME. I SIT IN THE BACK SIDE TO SIDE WITH MY YOUNGEST. SHE DID NOT LIKE IT MUCH.......BUT I DID.

        UNLOAD AT HOME AND I GET A PIZZA FOR US. IT IS ALREADY 8:30PM.

        AT HOME I TURN ON MY SURVEILLANCE SYSTEM AND SEE THE P.E.C.O. TECH AND OUR A/C TECH TALKING AT THE PANEL BOX.  I CALL BUT HE TELLS ME THEY ARE TROUBLE SHOOTING IT NOW AND WILL CALL LATER.

        THE CALL COMES IN.  I FEEL THE PAIN OF IT BEFORE I EVEN ANSWER THE PHONE. OUR TECH SAYS , " CHRIS , EITHER P.E.C.O. OR YOU HAVE THE PROBLEM HERE. " BASICALLY , THIS MEANS IF THE PROBLEM IS ON THE OUTSIDE OF THE BUILDING IT IS P.E.C.O'S PROBLEM AND THEY PAY. IF THE PROBLEM IS ON THE INSIDE OF THE BUILDING I SUCK ASS PAY.  GEE.........I WONDER WHAT THE OUTCOME WILL BE ?

        OUR TECH TELLS ME THE BAD NEWS. OUR METER HAS MELTED ONTO THE METER BOX. YEP , SOMETHING NEITHER TECHS EVER SAW BEFORE.  CAN'T TELL YOU HOW MANY TIMES I HEARD THAT LINE IN MY LIFE.  THE P.E.C.O. GUY WAS VERY COOL AND TRIED TO PULL THE METER BUT JUST COULDN'T. IT WAS 10PM AND HE SAID HE COME BACK TOMORROW AND SHUT OUR POWER DOWN.  MY HEART SANK AND DEPRESSION FOLLOWED.

        SO I WILL CALL P.E.C.O. TOMORROW AND ASK FOR ANOTHER EMERGENCY SERVICE CALL SINCE I DO NOT EXPECT THIS TECH TO CALL ME ON MY CELL PHONE BEFORE ARRIVING BECAUSE I HAVE A SIDE JOB TOMORROW.

        WE WATCH ANOTHER EPISODE OF THE FINAL SEASON OF " BATES MOTEL."  IT IS EXCELLENT. WE HAVE 2 MORE LEFT.  I WAS SO BUMMED I NEVER HAD A BEER OR BRANDY. 

        OFF TO BED , TOMORROW I AM SURE WILL BRING MORE CHECK WRITING.

         OH , ONE MORE THING, THE PHILLIES INFURIATED ME WITH THEIR BATTERS. THIS IS FUCKING " JV " STUFF.  IN THE LATE INNINGS THE CUBS PITCHERS LOADED THE BASES.  TWO OF THE BATTERS WERE WALKED.  NOW, UP COMES OUR BATTER.  HE HAS A 2 - 0 COUNT AND I SAY TO WHEELS, " SO , TIED GAME , 9TH INNING , BASES LOADED , PITCHER WALKED 2 BATTERS ALREADY , 2 - 0 COUNT ..........WHAT DO YOU DO ON THE NEXT PITCH ? " WHEELS RESPONDS LOGICALLY AND SAYS , " TAKE A PITCH. " MAKES TOTAL SENSE RIGHT ?  BUT IN MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL A 2 - 0 COUNT MEANS YOU SWING AS HARD AS YOU CAN NO MATTER IF THE BALL IS THROWN AT A HOT DOG VENDER.  WELP , OUR PLAYER SWUNG AT A BALL IN THE DIRT AND EVENTUALLY STRIKES OUT.  THE NEXT BATTER DID THE SAME THING. I WAS CURSING AT THE TV. A FAMILY MEMBER WATCHING TEXTED ME THE SAME THING BASICALLY.  OH , PHILLIES LOSE IN 12 INNINGS ON A THROWING ERROR..........HOW APPROPRIATE.

        ** BONUS WRITING ** - YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME !!!!!

         THIS WEBSITE IS ALWAYS ONE DAY BEHIND WHEN I WRITE. BUT , I HAVE TO TELL YOU WHAT JUST HAPPENED. FRIDAY MORNING AT 8AM I CALL P.E.C.O.  THE GIRL IS NICE AND WE GO OVER ADDRESS OF THE NAIL AND CROSS STREETS 3 TIMES.  SHE WAS VERY THOROUGH WITH MAKING SURE OF OUR ADDRESS.  I WAS EXTREMELY ADAMANT AND TOLD HER " THE TECH ABSOLUTELY MUST CALL MY CELL PHONE SINCE I WILL NOT BE AT THE NAIL IN THE MORNING.  PLEASE IN BIG LETTERS MAKE SURE THEY  " MUST CALL FIRST !! "  RIGHT BEFORE I HANG UP I TELL HER ONE MORE TIME , " PLEASE MAKE SURE THEY KNOW TO CALL MY CELL PHONE. I CAN NOT TELL YOU HOW IMPORTANT IT IS. " SHE REPLIES , " ABSOLUTELY , AND YOUR CROSS STREET TO HAVERFORD ROAD IS LORRAINE STREET RIGHT ?"
          I REPLY , " YEP , SOUNDS GOOD , THANKS. "

        AT 9:29AM , I GET A KNOCK ON MY HOME DOOR.  THE DOG STARTS BARKING AND I SEE A GUY IN AN ORANGE OUTFIT WITH A WHITE HELMET.  I OPEN THE DOOR AND HE SAYS , " I'M FROM P.E.C.O. , YOU CALLED FOR AN EMERGENCY ? " OH...........MY..............GOD.

        FRIDAY          5 - 5 - 17

        START MORNING UP AT 4:30AM.  I DECIDE JUST TO GET UP AND START THE DAY.  I TRY TO WAIT AS LONG AS I CAN FOR P.E.C.O TO CALL.   BY 10AM I AM RUNNING BEHIND AND I START LOADING MY VAN. MY CELL PHONE RINGS AND P.E.C.O. TELLS ME THEY WILL ARRIVE FROM 11AM TO 3 PM.  I ASK IF HE CAN BE MORE SPECIFIC SINCE I HAVE TO WORK.  HE SAID HE CALL THE FIELD TECH AND GET RIGHT BACK TO ME.

        45 MINUTES LATER I AM STILL WAITING. I DECIDE TO GET MY SHAVING AND SHOWER OUT OF THE WAY WHILE I AM WAITING FOR THE PHONE CALL.  I GET THE SOAP AND LATHER UP ALONG WITH APPLYING SHAVING CREAM TO MY FACE. I LOOK LIKE A NAKED SANTA CLAUS COVERED IN SNOW.  JUST AS I AM ABOUT TO TAKE THE FIRST STROKE OF MY RAZOR MY CELL PHONE GOES OFF........OF COURSE.

        MY ELDEST HEADS TO THE NAIL AND OPENS THE DOORS FOR P.E.C.O.  THE KID IS MY GO-BETWEEN SINCE I AM HEADING TO A SIDE JOB.  VIA PHONE I COORDINATE WITH OUR A/C TECH AND THE P.E.C.O. TECH.  WHEN ALL SAID AND DONE WE NEED A NEW METER.  NOT SURE WHO IS PAYING FOR IT AND WE HAVE TO TEST OUR ELECTRIC PANEL FOR SURGES SO THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN AGAIN.........LOTSA FUN.

        I HEAD TO A FULL DAY SIDE JOB.  7 HOURS OF DOING PROJECTS LIKE TILING A BACKSPLASH , SECURING SIDING , FIXING 2 TOILETS , FIXING AN EXERCISE CYCLE MACHINE , REPLACING A STORM DOOR LOCK , INSTALLING A DOOR SWEEP , AND MORE.  BY 5:45PM I GOT ON THE TURNPIKE AND HEADED DIRECTLY TO THE NAIL.

        PREP THE NAIL FOR CINCO DE MAYO. A BAND WAS APPARENTLY BRINGING FREE TACOS AND WE WERE DOING 99 CENT " MONKEY IN A SOMBRERO " SHOT.  OF COURSE THE BARTENDER AND I HAD TO TEST THE TEQUILA , 99 BANANAS ,AND GRAPEFRUIT MIXTURE.  IT WAS ACTUALLY PRETTY GOOD.

        I ROLL HOME AT 7:30PM AND ALMOST FALL ASLEEP ON THE 6 MINUTE RIDE.

        WHEELS MAKES LEFTOVER PIZZA AND WE HANGOUT WITH OUR ELDEST.

        PHILLIES HAVE SUCH A TOUGH SCHEDULE. EVERY TEAM WE PLAY IS A PLAYOFF TEAM.

        WHEELS AND I WATCH THE FINAL 2 EPISODES OF THE LAST SEASON OF " BATES MOTEL ".  THEY WERE EXCELLENT.  I DID NOT EXPECT THE ENDING AND I EVEN MISSED SOMETHING KINDA IMPORTANT.  WHEELS HAD TO TELL ME. I WON'T BE A SPOILER IN CASE ANYONE IS READING THIS AND IS A FAN OF THE SHOW. I HATE TO SEE IT END BECAUSE IT REALLY IS AN EXCELLENT SERIES.

        HEAD TO BED AROUND 10:15PM AND AGAIN NO BRANDY OR BEER FOR A NIGHT CAP.  THOUGH I DID HAVE 2 VODKAS AND SODA WATER.  I FELT GOOD WITH NO SUGAR HEADACHES WHEN I GOT UP AT 4AM. IT IS 6AM NOW SO I GUESS I WILL START THE DAY.

        SATURDAY       5 - 6 - 17

        LONG NIGHT BUT A FUN NIGHT.

        START MORNING AT 4AM. I HELP SPELL CHECK SOME COLLEGE ESSAYS ALONG WITH SOME OTHER STUFF.

        SCRAMBLED THE WHOLE MORNING WITH PROJECTS I HAD TO GET DONE BEFORE 12 NOON.

        ALL OF US ATTEND A VERY NICE FIRST COMMUNION FAMILY PARTY.  IT IS 12:30PM AND I AM ALREADY TIRED. IT WAS A GOOD TIME.

        BACK HOME I CAN ONLY STAY 15 MINUTES. I SO WANTED TO NAP BUT JUST COULDN'T.  OFF TO THE NAIL TO PREP FOR A LARGE SHOW AND A FIRST TIME EVER WORK TEAM.  OVER 186 TICKETS WERE SOLD AND 140 ACTUALLY CAME THROUGH AND IT WAS A FUN NIGHT.  MUSIC WAS VERY GOOD TO NOT BAD BUT THE PEOPLE I PLAYED WITH ALL NIGHT LONG MAKING JOKES ON THE MICROPHONE.  

        SOME FUN THINGS I DID :

        - TOLD A LARGE CROWD IF " PATCH " THE ONE EYED HORSE WINS THE KENTUCKY DERBY I WOULD BY THE WHOLE CROWD A ROUND.

        - I USE A MICROPHONE RIGHT OFF STAGE AND IT IS PREFECT WHEN I AM DOING THE DOOR AND RUNNING THE SHOW.  I HIDE AROUND THE CORNER WITH THE MIC AND SAY , " IF YOU CAN SEE ME I WILL BUY A DRINK ".  THIS GORGEOUS GIRL WITH A SMOKING BODY YELLS OUT , " I SEE YOU !!! " SHE WANTS ME TO DO A 99 BANANA SHOT WITH HER. I WILL NEVER TO ANOTHER 99 BANANA SHOT.

        - HASSLING A " MANAGER " FOR LETTING HER PROTÉGÉE PERFORMER BREAK HIS ANKLE THE DAY BEFORE THE SHOW.  SHE WAS ADORABLE.

        - ALL OLDER WOMEN I COMPLIMENTED THEM ON LOOKING GOOD AND I NEEDED TO CARD THEM.

        - SOME PERFORMERS I COMPLIMENTED BY SAYING YOU ARE WAY OVER DRESSED FOR HERE. ONE GUY HUGGED ME AND TOOK A PICTURE WITH ME TOO.

        THERE WERE SOME MORE THINGS AND THE CROWD HIT A HIGH OF 140.  THIS MONSTER CROWD WAS FUN. I PLAYED WITH EVERY HOT GIRL HERE........ESPECIALLY THE ONES IN CLOTH SPANDEX.  OH MY GOD. I THINK I SAID TO SOME FRIENDS , " MAN TO BE YOUNG AGAIN. "

        I ALLOWED " DRACO " , A LOCAL AND REGULAR TO PERFORM AND HE ABSOLUTELY KILLED IT.  A GROUP OF ABOUT 12 GIRLS WITH ALL SMOKING BODIES WERE YELLING , SCREAMING , AND LAUGHING AS THEY HEARD HIS LYRICS.  THE ONE SONG CALLED " PUT YOU IN  BOX " ( SOMETHING LIKE THAT) , THEY REQUESTED FOR HIM TO SING IT 2 MORE TIMES.  HE DID , ONE TIME WITH MUSIC AND ONE TIME ACAPELLA.  THEY WERE EATING IT UP !! I WAS HAPPY FOR HIM BUT HAD A DEFIBRILLATOR CLOSE......MAN HE WAS SWEATING.

        AGAIN , A SUPER EFFICIENT SHOW WAS RUN MAKING BOTH FANS AND ARTISTS FEEL GOOD.  I EVEN TOOK PICTURES WITH SOME PERFORMERS.

        ALL THIS GOOD STUFF AND SOME GIRL GAVE US 2 STARS OUT OF 5 STARS ON A FRIDAY NIGHT SHOW HERE. OH WELL , CAN'T MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY.

        THE ONE THING I WAS KINDA RELUCTANT BUT GLAD I DID IT WAS BOTH OUR KIDS WORKED TONIGHT.  ONE BARTENDED WHILE THE OTHER COOKED. THEY DID AN ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC JOB.

        I GOT HOME AT 1:30 AM , ATE A TINY BURRITO FROM TACO BELL , HAD SOME PEANUTS , DRANK SOME WATER , AND WENT TO BED.  MY LEGS WERE HURTING BIG TIME FROM STANDING THE ENTIRE SHOW.

        SAD NEWS HEARING FORMER NAIL SOFTBALL PLAYER AND FRIENDED AT 65.  COULD NOT FIND A NICER GUY.  RIP.....D.E.   WHEELS AND I WILL ATTEND THE VIEWING ON MONDAY.

        BARNABY'S IN HAVERTOWN WENT COMPLETELY UP IN FLAMES SUNDAY MORNING..........AN OWNERS WORSE NIGHTMARE.

        SUNDAY    5 - 7 - 17

        START MORNING UP AT 4AM AND JUST START MY DAMN DAY.  IT IS SO FRUSTRATING NOT TO SLEEP.

        PHILLIES WITH A NICE COME BACK WIN.

        HEAD OUT TO FINISH A SIDE JOB. THIS TIME TILING AND USING MY WET SAW....LOTSA FUN.  3 HOURS LATER I WAS DONE AND HEADING TO ANOTHER ESTIMATE. 

        BY 5:30PM I WAS HEADING HOME.  A QUICK DINNER AND OFF TO THE NAIL.  IT WAS A GOOD SATURDAY NIGHT AND LOTS OF CLEANING NEEDED TO BE DONE.  I HUNG OUT ALITTLE WITH SOME WORKERS AND REGULARS BUT BY 8:30PM I WAS TO DAMN TIRED. I DID READ EVERYONE MY ENCOUNTER WITH THE PSYCHO GIRL LAST TUESDAY....SUCH A GOOD STORY.

        AT HOME WHEELS AND I WATCH THE SEASON FINALE OF " HOMELAND ".  I FELL ASLEEP AND HAVE TO RE-WATCH IT.

        BY 9:50PM I WAS GOING TO BED.  I WAKE UP AT 1AM , 2AM , AND AT 3:30AM I JUST GOT UP AND STARTED DOING COMPUTER WORK.  WHEELS GETS UP TO PEE AND SEES ME IN THE KITCHEN SITTING IN FRONT OF MY COMPUTER WITH JUST BOXERS ON AND SAYS , " OH MAN ".  YEP , EXACTLY HOW I FEEL.

        OWNER OF BARNABY'S SAYS HE WILL RE-BUILD THE CLUB BY JULY 1ST. THAT IS A TOUGH TASK BUT I HOPE HE DOES.

        OUR NEW MOUNTAIN HOUSE CLEANER TEXTED ME " NO SIGNS OF SQUIRRELS IN AWNING ". THIS IS A GOOD THING.  I AM THINKING CONDO OR MOUNTAIN HOUSE VISIT IN THE VERY NEAR FUTURE.

        MONDAY      5 - 8 - 17

        A TRUE TESTAMENT - WHEELS AND I ATTENDED A FRIENDS FUNERAL. WE KNOW BOTH HIM AND THE WIDOWED WIFE. BOTH FREQUENTED THE NAIL IN THE PAST AND BOTH HUSBAND AND WIFE PLAYED ON OUR SOFTBALLS TEAMS. WE PLAYED WITH THEM FOR MANY YEARS. IT WAS SAD AND THEY HAVE A BEAUTIFUL FAMILY. WHAT I THOUGHT WAS THE 100 YARD LINE JUST TO GET IN THE FUNERAL HOME. THIS IS A TRUE TESTAMENT ON HOW THIS GUY LIVED HIS LIFE........ALWAYS KIND.........ALWAYS POSITIVE.  WE STOOD IN LINE AND LET SOME FRIENDS CUT IN WITH US. I EVEN LENT A DAUGHTER MY JACKET BECAUSE IT WAS CHILLY.

        INSIDE......MANY PICTURES AND A VIDEO OF HIS LIFE WERE DISPLAYED.  WE MET MUCH OF THE FAMILY INCLUDING OUR FRIEND THE WIFE.  SHE JUST PAINFULLY SAID AFTER I HUGGED HER , " WE WERE SO CLOSE. WE WERE SO CLOSE ".

        BACK HOME WE GET SOME THINGS DONE. I HELP OUR ELDEST WITH SOME HOME WORK.

        THIS WILL MAKE MY DAD FEEL GOOD FOR A WEEK. ONE PROJECT I HELPED FOR MY KID WAS I HAD TO BE A NEWS REPORTER INTERVIEWING A PERSON WHO KNEW ABOUT TEACHING. WELL , MY DAD WAS A SUPERVISOR / PROFESSOR HIS WHOLE LIFE SO WHO MORE PERFECT. I ASKED HIM QUESTIONS ABOUT PRIVATE VS PUBLIC SCHOOLING , CHANGES FROM THE PAST TO THE PRESENT AND MORE.  THERE WERE TIMES I WAS GETTING CHOKED UP BECAUSE I KNEW MY DAD WAS SO PROUD TO TALK ABOUT STUFF LIKE THIS.  IT WAS PRETTY COOL.  AFTER ABOUT 20 MINUTES OF TALKING THAN MY KID HAD TO PUT IT ALTOGETHER AND CRITIQUE IT , AND THAN WRITE AN ESSAY ON HIGHER EDUCATION.

        A FRIEND STOPS BY AND SHE IS ALWAYS FUN TO HANG WITH. WHEELS WAS TRYING TO NAP BUT THERE WAS NO WAY I WAS LETTING HER SLEEP WHEN HER BEST FRIEND STOPS IN.  WE TALKED AND LAUGHED FOR ABOUT 30 MINUTES.

        WHEELS HEADS TO A SECOND VIEWING AND IT WAS POLAR OPPOSITE OF THE MORNING ONE WE ATTENDED.  SHE TOOK SOME OLD FRIENDS OUT TO DINNER AT A LOCAL RESTAURANT. IT WAS FUNNY BECAUSE WHEELS WAS GREETED BY 2 WORKERS SHE KNEW ALONG WITH A COUSIN.  HER FRIENDS SAID , " YOU MUST COME HERE ALL THE TIME. " WHEELS REPLIED , " IT IS THE FIRST TIME IN YEARS. "

        I HEAD TO THE NAIL AND PREP FOR THE NIGHT.  I HAD SOME PEOPLE COME THROUGH AND DID SOME MORE EDITING AND SPELL CHECKING FOR OUR KID'S HOMEWORK. I KINDA FELT I WAS BACK AT SCHOOL.  

        THE GIRL THAT NOT KNOWINGLY SHOWED ME HER TITS LAST WEEK DID NOT COME IN TONIGHT.  BUT , THE GUY SHE WAS WITH DID.  HE DID APOLOGIZE AND WE TALKED FOR ABOUT 30 MINUTES. HE WAS PRETTY COOL.

        I ROLL HOME LATE NIGHT PRETTY DAMN TIRED. I HAVE A SMALL SIDE JOB TOMORROW FOR THE TOP TOP DOG AT A FORTUNE 500 COMPANY.  I HEARD THEIR HOUSE IS A MANSION AND WHEN I USED G.P.S TO FIND IT ...............IT WAS HIDDEN.  THAT IS A GOOD HIDING SPOT.

        END THE NIGHT WITH SOME WINE , CHEESE , AND 2 SMALL CHICKEN CUTLETS.  OUR ELDEST WAS STILL UP STUDYING FOR HER FINALS THIS WEEK.  THE KID HAS 2 DAYS TO GO.

        WHEELS AND I THROW A GREETING/MEETING GET TOGETHER AT OUR 6 BEDROOM APARTMENT BUILDING. EACH YEAR WE LET THE RENTERS MEET EACH OTHER AND WE SUPPLY BEER , SODA , AND SNACKS. IT IS A GOOD WAY TO LET THEM SOCIALIZE AND SEE WHO IS RENTING WITH THEM IN OUR BUILDING. I SEE ONE GUY IS REALLY HELPING HIMSELF TO BEER SO I DECIDE TO GO TO OUR GARAGE TO GET MORE.  WE MET IN APARTMENT ONE'S KITCHEN. I GO DOWN STEPS THAT LEAD TO A STAIRCASE WITH NO RAILINGS. THIS LEADS TO OUR GARAGE AND THAN OUTSIDE. I SEE MY DAD WALKING UP THE STEPS EXTREMELY SLOWLY WITH HIS CANE AND I SAY , " YO DAD , DON'T GO UP THESE STEPS. I WILL BE DONE IN 10 MINUTES. JUST GO BACK OUTSIDE AND MEET ME THERE.  HAVE A SMOKE TO WASTE SOME TIME. " HE RESPONDS , " YOU'RE RIGHT I'LL TURN AROUND. "  AS I PASS HIM I REALIZE I BETTER HELP HIM BACK DOWN THE 5 OR 6 STEPS HE WENT UP. AS SOON AS I TURN AROUND I SEE MY DAD TRIP AND LEAP OFF THE 4TH STEP.  HIS CANE GOES FLYING AND HE DOES A COMPLETE FACE PLANT. I MEAN HANDS AT HIS SIDES FACE PLANT. I YELL OUT , " JESUS CHRIST DAD !! " I RUN OVER AND HIS HEAD IS BLEEDING ON THE SIDE AND HIS NOSE IS SMOOSHED IN.  I RUN UP THE STAIRCASE AND OPEN THE DOOR AND YELL UP TO APARTMENT ONE , " CALL 911 ! CALL 911 ! CALL 911 !!! " MY VOICE WAS SO FRANTIC IT WAS SKIPPING WHEN TRYING TO YELL 911. I SEE ONE WOMAN START DIALING HER CELL PHONE. I GO BACK TO MY DAD AND LEAN HIM ON HIS SIDE.  I SEE BLOOD AND SAY , " ARE YOU OKAY ? "............dream ends.

        TUESDAY     5 - 9 - 17

        THE BIG BOSS.

        START MORNING OUT DRIVING ELDEST BACK TO COLLEGE. ALWAYS A FUN RIDE SAYING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING......LOTSA FUN.  AHHHHHHH TEENAGERS.

        BENEFIT SHOW THIS FRIDAY FOR JAKE HEATON. HE WAS VERY MUCH LIKED ESPECIALLY AMONGST MANY BANDS IN THIS AREA. 6 BANDS TOTAL FOR FRIDAY NIGHT.

        BATTLE OF THE BANDS ON SATURDAY.  THIS SHOULD BE FUN WITH 7 BANDS COMING THROUGH.

        OFF TO A SIDE JOB FOR THE TOP DOG IN A FORTUNE 500 COMPANY.  IT WAS SMALL PROJECT BUT OF COURSE THERE WAS A CATCH.  A REALLY NICE CEILING FAN COUPLED WITH A REALLY NICE CHANDELIER NEEDED TO BE HUNG.  I MOVED PRETTY QUICKLY ON THAT.  ONE PROBLEM , THE LIGHT COULD NOT BE TURNED OFF INDIVIDUALLY BECAUSE OF NO PULL STRING.  A REMOTE HAD TO BE ORDERED SEPARATELY.  GOOD CHANCE I WILL BE RETURNING.

        WHEELS BOUGHT ME NEW CLOTHS.  THIS HAS NOT HAPPENED IN 20 YEARS.  SHE ALSO CALLED ME FAT.

        PHILLIES JUST BLOW.  A 9 - 5 LEAD WAS SQUANDERED AND WE LOSE 10 - 9.  MAN....CAN'T TAKE IT.

        IT'S OFFICIAL , I AM A FAN OF THE NEW TV SERIES EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT......" BROCKMIRE ". WHEELS AND I WATCHED 2 EPISODES.  IT MADE ME LAUGH OUT LOUD MANY TIMES.  THE 3 FAT BASEBALL PLAYERS GETTING HIT BY PITCHES 3 TIMES IN A ROW BECAUSE THEIR BELLIES WERE HANGING OVER HOME PLATE IS PRETTY DAMN FUNNY.

        BACK HOME I CHILL FOR ABOUT 15 MINUTES AND DECIDE TO GET THE NAIL PREPPING OUT OF THE WAY.  RETURN HOME AND HAVE THE WHOLE NIGHT TO MYSELF. THAN MY PHONE GOES OFF AND I FORGOT I WAS MEETING AN INSURANCE REP FOR AN INSPECTION...........DAMN IT.

        END THE NIGHT TIRED AND HEAD TO BED AROUND 10PM.  WATCH TV FOR JUST A LITTLE AND I ACTUALLY SLEPT DECENT.

        WEDNESDAY       5 - 10 - 17

        I WANT TO SIT AROUND AND DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. RUNNING TODAY.....UGH.

        COORDINATING WITH P.E.C.O. IS LIKE ASKING AN ELEPHANT TO WALK A TIGHTROPE.

        CANCELLATION AT OUR CONDO FOR MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND. RENTER GAVE US A 2 WEEK NOTICE ONLY BECAUSE I CALLED THEM.  WHEELS AND I WILL BE NICE AND RETURN THE DEPOSIT EVEN THOUGH THE LEASE SAYS , " FORFEIT DEPOSIT IF CANCELLING WITHIN 30 DAYS ".  YEP , NOT ALWAYS ABOUT MONEY.  OH , NOT ONCE HAVE WE EVER KEPT A DEPOSIT WHEN PEOPLE CANCEL ON US WITHIN 30 DAYS. IT HAS HAPPENED OVER 50 TIMES SINCE WE HAVE BEEN RENTING OUR HOMES. I BELIEVE IN KARMA AND KEEPING PEOPLE'S MONEY WOULD GO AGAINST THAT BELIEF. WHEELS IS OPPOSITE OF THAT BELIEF.

        MY BROTHER HAS BEEN RENTING OUR MOUNTAIN HOUSE FOR 15 YEARS STRAIGHT WITH 10 FRIENDS. A REALLY COOL RE-UNION OF FRIENDS AND HE ALWAYS POSTS PICTURES OF IT ON FACEBOOK. HE ASKED IF HE COULD ARRIVE A NIGHT OR 2 EARLY WITH HIS WEEKEND COMING UP. WE ALWAYS SAY YES AS LONG AS OUR HOME IS NOT RENTED. WE ALWAYS SAY PEOPLE CAN ARRIVE EARLIER OR LEAVE LATER FOR FREE.  WE HAVE DONE THIS OVER 200 TIMES SINCE 1993. YEP , NOT ALWAYS ABOUT MONEY.

        WHEELS WANTED TO KEEP THE SECURITY DEPOSIT. WHAT WOULD YOU DO ? I ARRIVED AT OUR MOUNTAIN HOUSE AND IT COMPLETELY STUNK OF INDIAN FOOD OR PEOPLE OR B.O. OR I AM NOT SURE WHAT THE HELL IT WAS. I AIRED THE HOUSE OUT FOR 3 DAYS IN 45 DEGREE WEATHER. YEP , HAD THE HEAT ON WITH ALL THE WINDOWS OPEN AND WORE A JACKET TO BED....WITH SOCKS ON. HOW THE HELL CAN YOU SLEEP WITH SOCKS ON ?  ANYWAY , THAT WOULD LITERALLY BE THROWING MONEY OUT THE WINDOW.  OH , WE GAVE THE DEPOSIT BACK. YEP , NOT ALWAYS ABOUT THE MONEY.

        TAKE A RIDE TO PICK UP A FRIEND IN KING OF PRUSSIA. MAN SHE HAS A BEAUTIFUL HOME IN A REALLY NICE AREA.

        CALL P.E.C.O. AND THEY SET UP 2 APPOINTMENTS. I JUST DON'T GET IT.

        PICK UP WHEELS AND TAKE HER AND A FRIEND TO MY SISTER-IN-LAW'S HOUSE. THEY SET-UP A JOINT SURPRISE FOR OUR FRIEND.  THE DAUGHTER FLEW IN FROM OUT OF STATE TO SURPRISE THE MOM FOR MOTHER'S DAY AND ALL OF THEM WERE GOING TO A BASEBALL GAME.....VERY NICE.

        BACK HOME I START THE PROCESS OF INSTALLING MY BACKREST / LUGGAGE RACK ON MY MOTORCYCLE. OF COURSE IT IS ALWAYS A PROJECT.  I DECIDE I WILL NOT START THE PROJECT UNTIL I FIND A TOOL TO FIT A HEXAGON BOLT. 1 HOUR LATER WITH TOOLS ALL OVER MY PATIO I HAVE NOTHING TO REMOVE THE HEX BOLTS. 

        I TAKE A RIDE TO BRYN MAWR HARDWARE STORE THAT HAS BEEN AROUND FOR 75 YEARS.  PARK MY CAR , PAY THE METER , AND WALK TO THE STORE.  I SEE A SIGN ON THE DOOR " CLOSED BECAUSE I'M RETIRING. " BACK IN MY CAR I GO TO D.M.I. HOME SUPPLY. I FIND AN ALLAN WRENCH BECAUSE THEY HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO FIT THE HEX BOLT. I EVEN TOOK A PICTURE OF IT TO SHOW THEM.

        BACK HOME I SAY A SMALL PRAYER. I OPEN THE NEW $10 ALLAN WRENCH SET AND IT FITS THE BOLT. 1 1/2 HOURS LATER I CAN NOW START THE INSTALLATION. IN LESS THAN 30 MINUTES I HAVE IT DONE. I STORE AWAY THE 1000 TOOLS ON OUR PATIO AND THAN I HAVE THE GREAT IDEA OF ORGANIZING MY VAN OF ITS 1000 TOOLS.  ANOTHER HOUR AND EVERY THING IS DONE.

         I TAKE A SHORT RIDE ON THE BIKE JUST TO GET A FEEL FOR IT WITH THE BACK REST ON IT.  IT CAME OUT REALLY BEAUTIFUL AND I SPENT WAY TOO MUCH MONEY ON IT , BUT IT'S NOT ALWAYS ABOUT MONEY.  MY KID FELT UNSECURE AND ALITTLE SCARED RIDING WITH ME SO THAT IS THE SOLE REASON FOR INSTALLING A BACK REST.  I POSTED PICTURES ON FACEBOOK TO SHOW SOME FAMILY AND FRIENDS.

        BACK HOME I MEET OUR RENTER WHO BORROWS OUR LAWN MOWER EVERY 2 WEEKS. I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH THIS AND I EVEN FILL THE GAS TANK FOR HER.  OH , SHE BROUGHT HER KID AND DOG. MAN DID OUR DOG FREAK OUT INSIDE THE HOUSE. OF COURSE , I LET OUR PUP OUT AND THE 2 DOGS PLAYED.

        OFF TO PICK UP MY NIECE. GOOD LOOKING KID WITH STRAIGHT A'S IN SCHOOL. I REALLY DIG THIS KID. WE TALK ABOUT HER PROMS AND SCHOOL.......IT WAS NICE.

        DROP MY NIECE OFF AND HEAD TO COLLEGE TO GET OUR ELDEST. PER MY ADVICE , THE KID BORROWED A LARGE CLOTH CART AGAIN TO MOVE HER STUFF FROM HER ROOM TO OUTSIDE. WE LOADED QUICKLY AND HEADED HOME.

        WHEELS GOES TO DINNER WITH SOME FRIENDS.

        WE ARRIVE HOME AND I MAKE A DAMN GOOD CHICKEN CUTLET , HAM , AND PROVOLONE GRINDER. IT WAS EXCELLENT.

        OFF TO THE NAIL TO PREP AND BARTEND FOR THE NIGHT. I WATCHED THE PENGUINS BEAT THE CAPITALS IN GAME 7......AGAIN.  WOW , WASHINGTON FANS MUST FEEL LIKE US. WE HAVE A TON OF COUSINS WHO CHEER FOR BOTH TEAMS BUT I WAS LEANING TOWARDS THE CAPITALS THIS TIME.

        PHILLIES BLOW.

        BACK HOME LATE NIGHT AND THE 15 HOUR DAY IS OVER. A GLASS OF WINE WITH LOW ASS CALORIE ASS CHIPS AND HUMMUS.   IT WAS OFF TO BED.

        THURSDAY      5 - 11 - 17

        FRIDAY - JAKE HEATON BENEFIT SHOW WITH 6 BANDS.  ALL MONEY FOR THIS FALLEN FRIEND WILL GO TO HIS FAMILY.

        SATURDAY - BATTLE OF THE BANDS BOOKED BY A COMPANY IN GERMANY.  FROM THE EMAILS OF THE SHOW MANAGER I DO NOT HAVE A GOOD FEELING ABOUT THIS NIGHT.  THE GOOD THING IS I KNOW BASMATI VICE WHO ARE AN EXCELLENT BAND.

        SOMETIMES I RE-READ MY PREVIOUS BLOGS.  JESUS MY SPELLING BLOWS.

        OH MAN , I AM NOT A FAN OF TEXTING ESPECIALLY GROUP TEXTING.  TODAY'S GROUP TEXT AND MY CELL WAS GOING OFF FOR 45 MINUTES STRAIGHT.  UGH.....NOT A FAN OF TEXTING. DOES ANYONE EVER CALL NOWADAYS ?  

        I DID SOMETHING TODAY I HAVE BEEN DREADING FOR SEVERAL WEEKS.  OH MY HANDS HURT BIG TIME. WE HAVE 7 GARDENS AT OUR HOUSE. TODAY I WEEDED 6 GARDENS AND TRIMMED BACK 3 TREES. OH THE FUN.  THE KIDS AND THE PUP HELPED ME RAKE AND LOAD ALL THE WEEDS.  FOUR TRASHCANS LATER I WAS DONE. TOMORROW IS THE LAST GARDEN AND THE BIGGEST AND THE ONE WITH THE MOST WEEDS THAT LITERALLY LOOK LIKE SMALL TREES NOW..........CRAP.

        HEAD TO THE NAIL AND HAVE A LITTLE TALK WITH ONE OF OUR BARTENDERS.  SOME RULES ARE BEING BROKEN AND IT HAD TO BE DISCUSSED.

        BACK HOME WHEELS AND I BINGE WATCH " BROCKMIRE " OF 5 EPISODES. THEY WERE EXCELLENT AND WE ARE CAUGHT UP FOR THE SEASON FINALE NEXT WEEK.  I ACTUALLY SHED TEARS FROM CRYING ON ONE SCENE.  THIS SHOW ON THE TV CHANNEL " IBF " CAN BE ON-DEMANDED AND I HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT. THE GOOD THING THEY ARE 30 MINUTE SHOWS AND FAST FORWARDING MAKES THEM ABOUT 22 MINUTES LONG. I DID NOTICE SINCE THE SHOW GAINED SO MUCH POPULARITY AS THE SEASON PROGRESSES THE COMMERCIALS WERE ADDED.  THE LAST EPISODE MAY HAVE BEEN 19 MINUTES LONG.

        OFF TO BED AND SLEEP PRETTY QUICKLY. THE DAMN WEEDS KNOCKED ME DOWN GOOD.

        AT MY PARENTS HOUSE WHEELS AND I WATCH " BROCKMIRE " IN MY OLD ROOM. WE ARE LAYING DOWN ON OUR BACKS WATCHING THE SHOW AND ENJOYING EACH OTHER'S COMPANY. I BEGIN MASSAGING HER CHEST.................dream ends.

         ( THERE WAS MORE TO THIS DREAM BUT I CAN'T WRITE ABOUT IT )

        FRIDAY        5 - 12 - 17

        UP EARLY AGAIN AND THERE WAS ONE THING I WANTED TO DO BEFORE THE MONSOON RAINS.......WEED.

        GET MY YOUNGEST OFF TO SCHOOL EARLY MORNING AND GET MY NORMAL STUFF DONE.

        FOR THE 7TH STRAIGHT DAY I CALL P.E.C.O.  AFTER TODAY I WILL NOT CALL THEM AGAIN.  THERE IS A REASON FOR THIS. I CALL EMERGENCY SERVICE AND FOR THE 7TH TIME THEY HAVE NO IDEA WHO I AM OR WHAT PROBLEM WE HAVE AT THE NAIL.  SO TO MAKE IT REALLY IMPORTANT I SAY , " OUR METER IS MELTED TO THE METER BOX ".  THEY TELL ME SOMEONE WILL BE THERE.  AGAIN , FOR THE 7TH TIME I INSIST THEY CALL MY CELL PHONE FOR A HEADS UP.

        OFF TO THE NAIL TO MEET AN INSURANCE REP.  GUY WAS SUPER COOL AND SUPER FAST.  I DECIDE TO STAY AN HOUR TO PREP THE NAIL FOR A BIG NIGHT AND BENEFIT SHOW. SO GLAD I DID BECAUSE 30 MINUTES LATER THERE IS A KNOCK ON THE DOOR.  WHO IS IT ?......P.EC.O.  UNBELIEVABLE.

        THE TECH IS VERY COOL AND HE PROMISES ME HE WILL GET TO THE BOTTOM OF IT. HE EVEN MAKES 4 OR 5 CALLS AND HIS SUPERVISOR SHOWS UP HERE TOO.  I GET OUR A/C TECH ON THE PHONE TO TALK WITH THEM AND NOW EVERYTHING IS STRAIGHT WITH JUST ONE PROBLEM .........THEY DO NOT HAVE A 3 PHASE METER. THE TECH ME THIS IS JUST NOT SEE ANYMORE.  OF COURSE THEIR NOT. I TELL THEM THAT IS WHAT ALL THE PREVIOUS TECHS SAID.  HE DECIDES TO PUT EVERYTHING BACK TOGETHER WITH ONE THING MISSING........THE METER.  HE TALKS TO MY A/C TECH AGAIN TO MAKE SURE WE ARE ON THE SAME PAGE AND GOOD TO GO. OUR TECH WILL RETURN ON MONDAY TO FINISH THE NEW A/C.  OH , ONE MORE THING , THE P.E.C.O. TECH SAYS RIGHT BEFORE HE LEAVES , " ENJOY YOUR FREE ELECTRICITY. "  YEP , NO METER = NO BILL........NICE. I AM SO NOT CALLING P.E.C.O.

        BACK HOME I TACKLE WHAT I SO DO NOT WANT TO DO.........WEED.  I START AT 10:30AM AND FINISH AT 4:22PM.  7 TRASHCANS LATER OUR GARDENS ARE DONE.  MY YOUNGEST HELPS WITH RAKING AND LOADING THE WEEDS INTO THE TRASHCANS. I AM EXHAUSTED.

        SHOWER AND HEAD TO THE NAIL FOR A GOOD BENEFIT SHOW.  I WORKED THE DOOR AND HELP ORGANIZE BANDS ARRIVING UNTIL 8PM.  I BUY SOME DRINKS FOR 2 PROMOTERS I KNOW AND EVEN MAKE AN ORDER OF BROCCOLI BYTES FOR ONE PROMOTER SINCE HE DID NOT HAVE DINNER. ALL WAS FREE BECAUSE I BELEIVE IT IS NOT ABOUT MONEY BUT BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS.

        I ROLL HOME AND MY LEGS ARE ACHING. I AM SO GOING TO BED AT 8:45PM.

        AT HOME WE HAVE FAMILY OVER SO I AM FORCE TO DRINK WITH THEM.  BY 11PM , THEY ROLL OUT AND I POUR MYSELF TO BED.

        AT 4:00AM I WAKE UP TO ITCHING ON MY LEG.....YEP , GOT POISON IVY OR SOMETHING.  I PUT SOME CALAMINE LOTION AND DO SOME WEBSITE STUFF UNTIL 6AM.  OFF TO BED AGAIN.

        AT COLLEGE MY ELDEST SHOWS ME THE CAMPUS. I DECIDE I WANT TO HANG OUT AND MAYBE TAKE A CLASS. THE UNIVERSITY OFFERS ME A ROOM FOR 2 NIGHTS NO CHARGE JUST TO SEE IF I LIKE IT.  MY KID LEAVES AND I SETTLE IN.  I WANT TO SHOWER AND I WAS TOLD THE BATHROOMS ARE AT THE END OF THE HALLWAY. IN JUST TORN BOXERS AND A TOWEL I WALK DOWN THE HALLWAY. AT THE END IT TURNS AND I WALK TO THE END OF THAT HALLWAY. I DO NOT SEE THE BATHROOMS BUT I OVER HEAR SOME STUDENTS COMPLAINING THAT THE SHOWERS ARE ALL DOWN IN THE BASEMENT. I GO DOWN THE STAIRCASE 4 FLOORS AND STILL CAN NOT SEE THE BATHROOMS.  I SEE BOILERS AND I KNOW I AM IN THE WRONG PLACE.

        CONT - I GO OUT A DOOR AND NOW I AM OUTSIDE WITH JUST RIPPED BOXERS AND A TOWEL.  TO MAKE IT WORSE I AM THE OLDEST ON CAMPUS AND ALL THE KIDS ARE STARING AT ME. I QUICKLY WALK TO AN ADJOINING BUILDING AND UP A STAIRCASE. A YOUNG GIRL COMING DOWN THE STAIRWAY SEES ME.  I ASK HER DO YOU KNOW WHERE THE SHOWERS ARE AND SHE REPLIES , " OH MY GOD YOUR BREATH IS HORRIBLE ".   I REPLY , " OK , THANKS."  I WALK TO A RECEPTION AREA WHERE 4 WOMEN ARE BUSY AND I ASK THEM IF I CAN BORROW A CELL PHONE. I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO GET BACK TO MY DORM OR EVEN KNOW MY ROOM NUMBER.  ONE LADY RELUCTANTLY SAYS , " I SHOULDN'T DO THIS BUT HERE. " I BEGIN TO DIAL MY KID'S PHONE NUMBER BUT I CAN NOT REMEMBER IT. I DECIDED TO CALL WHEELS.  MY SISTER-IN-LAW ANSWERS HER PHONE AND JUST STARTS GIGGLING.  I TRY TO EXPLAIN TO HER I HAVE A VERY SERIOUS ISSUE HERE AND NEED TO TALK TO NANCY. SHE JUST CONTINUES TO LAUGH AND HANGS UP.

        CONT -  I GIVE THE PHONE BACK AND FEEL ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS IN JUST BOXERS.  MY HAIRY CHEST , HAIRY LEGS , AND IN JUST A TOWEL TO COVER MY MONKEY BODY.  I FEEL LIKE I HAVE ALZHEIMER'S. I FEEL HELPLESS AND EMBARRASSED WHEN I HEAR MY CELL PHONE GO OFF...............dream ends.

        AT 8AM MY CELL PHONE RINGS AND IT IS MY ELDEST AT OUR BACK DOOR BECAUSE SHE DOES NOT HAVE A KEY TO GET IN.

        AT 8:15AM MY CELL GOES OFF AGAIN AND 3 HOURS LATER I SOLD MY MOTORCYCLE THAT I PUT ON CRAIGSLIST AT 4AM.

        AT 12 NOON ANOTHER PHONE CALL WITH ANOTHER OFFER ON THE BIKE.

        SATURDAY           5 - 13 - 17

        LONG DAY BUT AN INTERESTING ONE. OH , AND I REALLY SHOULDN'T TAKE MY SHIRT OFF IN FRONT OF 100 PEOPLE.

        THE GUY THAT BOUGHT MY BIKE IS ABSOLUTELY GUNG HO.  THE MOTTO OF " LET'S GET IT DONE RIGHT FRIGGN' NOW " IS BRED INTO HIS BLOOD FROM BIRTH I THINK.  THIS GUY LIVES IN A BAD NEIGHBOR WITH SOME DEMONS HE HAD TO OVERCOME. IT SEEMS HE IS ON THE RIGHT TRACK AND PATH WITH A GOOD GIRLFRIEND NOW. I GOT TO HEAR HIS WHOLE LIFE STORY AND THAN SOME.  I WAS ACTUALLY FEELING BAD FOR HIM. THE GIRLFRIEND COULD NOT OF BEEN SWEETER. I HAVE THIS PERSONA THAT PEOPLE TRUST. KINDA LIKE THEY WAY HOWARD STERN MAKES PEOPLE TELL THEM THEIR SECRETS.  IT IS HAS BEN THAT WAY WITH ME FOR YEARS. I THINK I JUST MAKE STRANGERS  FEEL COMFORTABLE.

        OFF TO MY FRIEND AT EAGLE AUTO TAGS IN HAVERTOWN. TO SAY HE WAS PATIENT WOULD BE AN UNDERSTATEMENT.  I HAD ALL MY THINGS NEEDED FOR THE TRANSFER OF THE BIKE'S TITLE , NAME , AND INSURANCE. THE GUY BUYING THE BIKE......NOT SO MUCH.  HE DID NOT BRING HIS INSURANCE DETAILS AND THIS MADE THE PROCESS FROM 10 MINUTES TO 60 MINUTES.  IN THE BIG PICTURE I DID NOT MIND. I MET A NICE COUPLE AND THE GUY DOES SURVEILLANCE SYSTEMS........REAL NICE GUY.  HE OFFERS A 4 CAMERA SYSTEM WITH ALL THE BELLS AND WHISTLE FOR $699. THAT IS NOT A BAD PRICE. ANYWAY , WHILE WAITING I TALKED TO THIS COUPLE ABOUT MANY SUBJECTS.  THEY WERE ACTUALLY PRETTY COOL.

          THE GUY BUYING MY BIKE PICKED ME UP AND I TOLD WHEELS IF I DIE HERE IS HIS PHONE NUMBER AND NAME.  OKAY , ONLY KIDDING BUT CRAIGSLIST STRUCK AGAIN FOR ME BUT ONE ALWAYS HAS TO BE CAREFUL.  SINCE THE GUY AND HIS GIRLFRIEND WERE PASSING RIGHT BY MY HOUSE I ASKED HIM TO PICK ME UP.  WE TALKED AND I JOKED BOTH WAYS. I CONNECTED WITH THEM AND MAN THIS GUY HAS BEEN THROUGH IT ALL.

        FINALLY ALL THE PAPERWORK GOES THROUGH AND HE IS SHORT $40. I LEND HIM THE MONEY INSTANTLY SO HE IS NOT EMBARRASSED. SOMETIMES IT IS NOT ALL ABOUT MONEY AND I OFFERED THE COUPLE OPEN BAR FOR BUYING MY BIKE AND MOVING SO QUICKLY ON THIS.  IT LOOKS LIKE THIS FRIDAY HIM AND HIS GIRLFRIEND WILL STOP AT THE NAIL. AGAIN , OPEN BAR FOR THEM.  THIS GUY HAD A REALLY TOUGH LIFE SO FAR SO I WANTED TO HELP IN ANY SMALL WAY. MAYBE JUST TALKING, HAVING SOME BEERS , AND LISTENING TO SOME LIVE MUSIC WOULD HELP ALITTLE BIT FROM REALITY.  I ALWAYS BEEN THIS WAY ABOUT PEOPLE AND MONEY..........PEOPLE FIRST.

        BACK HOME I CHILL WITH WHEELS AND HAVE LUNCH.  OUR YOUNGEST GOES TO THE 104.5 BIRTHDAY SHOW WITH 15 BANDS IN CAMDEN AROUND 2PM.  IT WAS A HUGE EVENT AND THE KID WENT WITH 4 FRIENDS AND MET ABOUT 10 MORE THERE.  THEY TOLD ME SOME REALLY FUNNY STORIES ABOUT HOW PEOPLE TOOK THEIR POPCORN , A DRUNK MOM DANCING , AND PEOPLE FALLING IN THE MUD.  ALL THE KIDS WERE COOL.  BUT I WILL GET BACK TO THAT STORY IN A MINUTE.

        I ROLL TO THE NAIL TO PREP FOR A NIGHT I THOUGHT WAS GOING TO BE SLOW.  BUT IT ENDED UP A PACKED HOUSE AND MAN DID BIG DADDY HAVE SOME FUN. IT WAS A BATTLE OF THE BANDS SHOW WITH THE MANAGER OF THE SHOW TAKING 2 TRAINS AND A TAXI FROM NEW YORK TO HERE.  I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT.  HE WAS A BIG GUY , QUIET , AND REALLY HAD NO CLUE WHAT WAS GOING ON.  OUR STAFF AND MYSELF RAN AN ABSOLUTELY PERFECT EVENT.  I HAD PEOPLE LAUGHING , COMPLIMENTING PARENTS , TELLING 2 GIRLS THEY TOOK THE BEST DRIVER'S LICENSE PICTURES I EVER SEEN , ASKING SOME MOMS FOR I.D. ( THEY GIGGLED AND LAUGHED ) , TELLING PEOPLE IT IS A NON-SMOKING EVENT AND SAYING " YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE A SMOKER....MOST SAID THEY DON'T SMOKE BUT ONE BIG GUY  I SAID " YOU KNOW , YOU LOOK LIKE A SMOKER ".......AND PLAYING WITH THE YOUNGER ACTS ALL NIGHT. MY FAVORITE WAS MONEE AND MEEKS. THEY ARE A HIP HOP ACT AND THE ONE GIRL IS AN ABSOLUTE PIECE OF ASS.  SHE REMINDED ME OF THE YOUNGEST DAUGHTER ON THE BILL COSBY SHOW. HER NAME ON THE SHOW WAS RUDY HUXTABLE PLAYED BY KESHIA KNIGHT PULLIAM....ONLY SEE WHAT SHE LOOKS LIKE TODAY.  I MEAN A GORGEOUS GIRL. THIS KID COULD BE A MODEL AND SHE HAS A SMILE AS BRIGHT AS A FLASHLIGHT AT NIGHT.  HER ENERGY WAS INFECTIOUS AND I BELIEVE THE REASON FOR SUCH A HUGE CROWD SUPPORT.

        ALL NIGHT MAKING JOKES AND ALSO THE AUDIENCE THAT THE SOUNDMAN AND MYSELF WOULD SING A JOHNNY CASH SONG. I SWEAR I AM GOING TO DO THIS ONE NIGHT. ANOTHER FUN THING WAS MONEE AND MEEKS WERE GIVING OUT TEE SHIRTS.  THEY WANTED TO TAKE A PICTURE OF THE OWNER ( ME ) AND THEM SO THEY HAD ALL KINDS OF FRIENDS SNAPPING PHOTOS OF US.  THAN SCREAMING AND LAUGHING ERUPTED AND I HEAR  " OH NO YOUR NOT !!! " , WHOA !!! " , AND " YOU GO BIG DADDY !! " AS I TOOK OFF MY NAIL SHIRT , SHOWING MY SASQUATCH BODY , AND THAN PUTTING ON THEIR SHIRT.  GIRLS WERE YELLING OUT , " SEXY MAN , SEXY MAN!! "  I IMMEDIATELY STOPPED THEM SAYING THAT AND RESPONDED , " STOP THAT RIGHT NOW !! I WILL NEVER ATTRACT ANOTHER WOMAN THE REST OF MY LIFE !!  THE LOOK MY BARTENDER GAVE ME WAS LIKE , " YOU COULD OF BEEN THE LEAD ACTOR IN THE MOVIE GORILLAS IN THE MIST. "

           THE ONLY THING I WAS BUMMING ALITTLE ABOUT WAS SUPER SEXY MONEE WANTED A VOLUNTEER TO ONE SONG WHILE THEY PERFORM. THEY ONLY CATCH THE GUY THEY BRING ON STAGE HAD TO BE SINGLE.  I HAVE TO ADMIT WHEN SHE SAID , " OH , YOU'RE MARRIED I CAN'T GRIND ON YOU. " THE SECOND AFTER I HEARD THE WORD " GRIND " MY PENIS MOVED LEFT AND ANGLED SLIGHTLY UP. I WAS TRYING TO GET MY RING OFF BUT BECAUSE MY FINGERS GOT SO FAT OVER THE YEARS IT WASN'T HAPPENING.  I HAD TO LET THIS 3 1/2 MINUTE SONG OPPORTUNITY OF A GIRL WITH AN ASS LIKE 2 ASHTRAYS PUT TOGETHER GRINDING UP AND DOWN MY SLAB OF A BODY SLIP BY AND GO TO THE SHOW MANAGER'S CROTCH WHO WAS SINGLE AND GOOD LOOKING.....DAMN IT !!

        SOUNDMAN , MYSELF , AND BARTENDER RAN A SUPER SMOOTH SHOW. THE SHOW MANAGER KINDA JUST WALKED NEXT TO US. WE WERE RUNNING EVERYWHERE MAKING PEOPLE FEEL GOOD , ORGANIZING ACTS , AND LOADING BANDS IN & OUT. ALSO GETTING ON STAGE , ANNOUNCING BANDS , AND MAKING JOKES.  IT WAS A REALLY GOOD TIME.

        ANOTHER GOOD THING THAT HAPPENED WAS I WAS CONTACTED BY A BAND I KNOW. THEIR 4 BAND NIGHT WAS CANCELLED AT A NIGHTCLUB IN PHILLY DUE TO FLOODING.  SO ........I MOVED THEM HERE AND ADDED THEM TO THE SHOW.  I WAS HAPPY TO HELP OUT AND I EVEN " BURIED THE HATCHET " WITH AN OLD RADIO SHOW HOST.  I TEXTED OUR RADIO SHOW ENGINEER , " BURYING THE AXE TONIGHT ".  I KNEW HE WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND AND ABOUT 45 MINUTES LATER HE TEXTS , " ? ? ? ".  I REPLY , " TONIGHT THE _ _ _ BAND IS PLAYING HERE. " HIS RESPONSE , " NO FUCKING WAY !!!!  HOW DID THIS HAPPEN ???!!! " I TEXTED HIM , " TELL YA LATER....BUSY RIGHT NOW."

        I SHOOK HANDS WITH THE OLD RADIO HOST AND ALL WAS GOOD.

        THE LAST ACT WAS ABOUT TO START WHICH I SO WANTED TO SEE BECAUSE IT WAS MONEE & MEEKS BUT I HAD TO PICK UP MY KID AND HER FRIENDS IN CAMDEN AT THE PP&L STADIUM. I MADE GREAT TIME BUT EVERYONE AND THERE MOTHER WAS PICKING UP KIDS. I PARKED IN A LONG LINE OF CARS ON MARTIN LUTHER KING BLVD.  VIA CELL PHONE MY KID AND I TALK AND TRY TO MEET EACH OTHER.  IT TOOK US 15 MINUTES AND ME GETTING OUT OF MY CAR TO WALK TO WHERE I THOUGHT THEY WERE. WE FINALLY DID IT AND ALL WAS GOOD.  THEY TOLD ME THEY WERE ON DELAWARE AVENUE.  I ASKED 2 DRUNKS GUYS AND THE ONE SAYS , " DUDE , DELAWARE AVE IS IN PHILLY. YOU GOT A LONG WALK. " HE WAS DRUNK AND I JUST MOVED ON. 

        ON THE WAY HOME I STOP AT A WAWA IN NARBERTH. I TREAT ALL 5 KIDS TO HOAGIES , DRINKS , AND ICE-CREAM. THEY ALL YELL ," YEAHH !!! " AGAIN , NOT ABOUT THE MONEY AND I KNEW THEY BE HUNGRY AFTER A LONG DAY AT A COLD RAINY CONCERT. I REALLY ENJOYED THEIR BANTER AS I DROVE HOME. THEY ARE REALLY COOL RESPECTFUL KIDS WHICH YOU DO NOT SEE TOO OFTEN NOW-A-DAYS. I EVEN HAD A CHICKEN CAESAR WRAP AND IT WAS PRETTY GOOD. 

        I DRIVE EACH OF THE 4 FRIENDS HOME AND HEAD HOME WITH OUR YOUNGEST AFTER 12:30AM.  I EVEN CALL THE NAIL TO SEE IF THEY NEED MY HELP.  ALL WAS GOOD AND MY 14 HOUR DAY WAS ENDING.  I GOT HOME MADE A DRINK AND HEADED TO BED.

        SUNDAY -   5 - 14 - 17 ( MOTHER'S DAY )
         

        MAKE MONEY , SPEND MONEY.......WE ALL DO IT.  WE LIVE PAY CHECK TO PAY CHECK FOR THE MOST PART AND CONTINUE LIFE'S TRAVELS ONE DAY AT A TIME. EVERYDAY IS AN ADVENTURE.

        NOT 30 MINUTES AFTER SELLING MY BIKE OUR BIG SCREEN TV FROM 2004 BEGINS TO FLICKER. WELP , TIME FOR AN UPGRADE...........MONEY MADE , SPEND MONEY.

        AT 9:30AM , I START MY MORNING BY TAKING MY OLDER MOTORCYCLE FOR ONE LAST RIDE.  I RODE IT FOR ABOUT 20 MINUTES. THE GUY PICKED IT UP AND I WATCHED HIM RIDE IT AWAY.......IT WAS KINDA SAD.

        WHEELS STARTS MORNING DOING SOME BUSINESS PROJECTS , PAYING BILLS , AND DOING THE BOOKS. I DO SOME MYSELF.

        BY 12 NOON WE WERE HEADING TO A FAMILY'S HOUSE FOR A BEAUTIFUL BRUNCH. WE SAT OUTSIDE ON A MULTI ACRE PROPERTY AND IT WAS NOTHING SHORT OF PERFECT. MY YOUNGEST FED COY FISH , A SUNNY , A CATFISH , AND A BIG TURTLE IN A POND. IT WAS PRETTY COOL. ALL OF US TALKED AND MADE JOKES.  I ENJOYED IT VERY MUCH. MY YOUNGEST TELLING SOME STORIES ABOUT SCHOOL AND THE CONCERT SHE ATTENDED LAST NIGHT WAS FUN TOO.

        I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR A WEED WHACKER FOR ALMOST 2 MONTHS WITH NO SUCCESS. I ASK A FAMILY MEMBER AND HE HAS ONE THAT WILL NOT START. IT IS GOOD SIZE AND A COMMERCIAL ONE. THE KIND I SEE THE PROFESSIONAL LANDSCAPERS USING ALL THE TIME.  HE SAID ," IF YOU CAN FIX IT , IT IS YOURS. " I HAPPEN TO HAVE A GUY COMING OVER TO FIX MY LAWN MOWER SO I WILL ASK HIM TO FIX THE WEED WHACKER IF HE CAN. IT BE A HUGE SCORE.

        IN THE NEWS - " RANSOMWARE "- SOMEONE CREATED THE LARGEST VIRUS IN THE WORLD'S HISTORY. IT HIT ENGLAND THE HARDEST SHUTTING DOWN COMPUTERS AND BIG COMPANIES.  THESE HACKER/KIDS HAVE SO MUCH TALENT AND THEY DO THIS ?.........UNBELIEVABLE.

        I HAVE TO TELL THIS ONE STORY. I NEVER KNEW OR HEARD AND WAS QUITE SURPRISED MY KID TOLD THIS EVENT. OUR YOUNGEST SAYS LAST YEAR 2 FRIENDS AT LUNCHTIME WALKED TO EVERY TABLE IN THE CAFETERIA. THEY TOLD EACH TABLE AT 11:45AM WE ARE GOING TO HAVE A FOOD FIGHT. SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALLS WERE ON THE MENU.  THE KIDS ORDERED EXTRA SAUCE AND THE SERVERS EVEN SAID SOMETHING LIKE " WOW , EVERYONE IS ORDERING EXTRA SAUCE. " WELL , LIKE THE FAMOUS SCENE FROM " ANIMAL HOUSE " THE ONE ORGANIZER GOT UP AND SCREAMED " FOOD FIGHT !!!! ". THE ENTIRE CAFETERIA ERUPTED AND FOOD WAS FLYING EVERYWHERE. MY KID COULD NOT BELIEVE HUNDREDS OF STUDENTS WERE ALL PARTICIPATING.  SHE THREW FOOD AND IMMEDIATELY GOT UNDER  A TABLE WITH SOME FRIENDS. THE TEACHERS MONITORING WERE ACTUALLY COOL AND ONE QUOTED IN THE AFTERMATH , " THAT IS THE FIRST TIME I SEEN THE STUDENTS UNITE TOGETHER. " EVEN THE PRINCIPAL WAS LAUGHING WHILE FOOD WAS FLYING EVERYWHERE................UNTIL SHE GOT HIT IN THE EYE WITH A MEATBALL.

        FOOD FIGHT - BOYS HAD TO STAY AND CLEAN.  GIRLS IN THEIR NEXT CLASS GOT YELLED AT.

        WE ROLL HOME AND CHILL FOR ABOUT 3 HOURS. OUR ELDEST HEADS TO WORK AND I TAKE A NAP. I SLEPT A GOOD 90 MINUTES WHICH I COULD NOT BELIEVE.

        PHILLIES WIN A GREAT FUN GAME IN A COMEBACK FASHION IN THE 9TH INNING. BUT IN GAME 2 OF THE DOUBLE HEADER THEY BREAK OUR HEARTS AGAIN BY SUCKING ASS IN THE LATE INNINGS TO LOSE WITH A LEAD.

        WE ROLL OUT AND STOP AT THE NAIL. GET THE PLACE PREPPED FOR THE NIGHT.

        HEAD TO ANOTHER FAMILY MEMBER'S HOUSE AROUND 6PM FOR A 2ND GET TOGETHER FOR MOTHER'S DAY.  AGAIN , WE HIT GOOD WEATHER AND HAVE A BBQ.  WE CHILL , TELL STORIES , AND OUR ELDEST STOPS BY AFTER WORK. IT WAS REALLY NICE. MY ONE NEPHEW WHO IS ALMOST 2 YEARS OLD STOLE THE SHOW BY TALKING AND HAVING THIS GREAT EVIL LAUGH. IT ENTERTAINED EVERYONE. THE KID EVEN SAT ON MY LAP FOR OVER 30 MINUTES AND THAT WAS A FIRST. I ENJOYED IT AGAIN AND ALL THE KIDS WERE RESPECTFUL AND FUN WITH THEIR STORIES. IMAGINE THAT , KIDS THESE DAYS BEING RESPECTFUL TO THERE ELDERS ? SOMETHING YOU RARELY SEE IN TODAY'S GENERATION.

        BACK HOME WE CHILL. I LET WHEELS WATCH HER SHOWS WHILE I WATCH THE PHILLIES LOSE AND PLAY INTERNET SCRABBLE. I WIND DOWN THE NIGHT WITH NO BOOZE BECAUSE I WAS PRETTY TIRED.

         SPEAKING OF WHEELS......A MOTHER'S DAY TRIBUTE.

        FIRST- THE KIDS GAVE WHEELS SOME REALLY COOL GIFTS.  OUR ELDEST BOUGHT A ROCKING CHAIR AND PICTURE FRAME THAT SAYS , " I'M JUST HERE FOR THE LAKE " AND OUR YOUNGEST DREW THIS BEAUTIFUL ARTWORK OF A MOTHERS DAY CARD. BOTH WERE SUPER COOL GIFTS.

        NOW ME WITH A LITTLE TRIBUTE :

        WE MET AT A POOL TABLE AT A FRIEND'S PARTY OVER 33 YEARS AGO.  MAN , HAS IT BEEN A SWEET RIDE.

        " THAT WAS ON WEDNESDAY " - THIS WAS A STATEMENT WHEELS NONCHALANTLY MADE LAST WEEK AND IT STILL MAKES ME LAUGH TODAY. THE VISUAL JOKES ARE THE BEST. I TEXTED WHEELS TO CALL ME WHEN SHE HAS A MOMENT. SHE CALLS AND ASKS ME " WHY DID YOU TEXT ME TWICE ? " I HAVE HER ON SPEAKER PHONE AND REPLY , " I ONLY TEXTED YOU ONCE. "  I VISUALIZE WHEELS FACE AS SHE IS LOOKING AT HER PHONE. I AM JUST STARING AT THE PHONE'S SPEAKER WHERE THERE IS TOTAL SILENCE. THERE IS THIS PAUSE OF ABOUT 5 SECONDS WHICH IS KINDA LONG FOR A PHONE CONVERSATION AND OUT OF THE SPEAKER BOX I HEAR WHEELS VOICE............." OH , THAT WAS ON WEDNESDAY. "  I BURST INTO LAUGHING AND SHE DOES TOO.  SHE WAS READING 2 TEXTS OF MINE BUT THEY WERE FROM DIFFERENT DATES. IT WAS VERY ENTERTAINING TO ME.

        SO , HERE IS TO WHEELS :

             IN MY EYES , TO THIS DAY , NO ONE EVER COMES CLOSE TO YOU AS A PERSON , MOTHER , WIFE , AND BEST FRIEND. I THINK ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME ( 90% SEXUALLY ) AND THANK MY LUCKY STARS YOU CAME INTO MY LIFE. I AM TRULY BLESSED TO HAVE A BEST FRIEND WHO MAKES ME LAUGH AND IS ALWAYS THERE FOR ME.  THE KIDS ADORE YOU AND SO DO I. HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY KID.

        MONDAY         5 - 15 - 17

        WELP , TODAY I STARTED THE PROCESS OF MULCHING.  THE TEMPERATURES ARE GOING UP TO 80 DEGREES TOMORROW AND THAN 90 DEGREES ON THURSDAY AND FRIDAY.......IT HAS TO GET DONE NOW.

        MY KIDS HAVE OFF TOMORROW SO THAT WILL BE A HUGE HELP.  BUT TODAY I WANTED TO GET THINGS GOING FOR THE " WEED , SEED , & MULCH " PROJECT.  HERE IS THE TIME LINE AND MAN I AM TIRED JUST WRITING ABOUT IT.

         PREPPING :

        - FIXED A CURB BORDER BY REPLACING A ROUNDED 6 X 6 LOG. HAD TO RUN A LONG EXTENSION CORD TO THE STREET ALONG WITH TOOLS.

        - USING HEDGE CUTTERS I TRIMMED BACK OUR JAPANESE MAPLE AND CUT DOWN THE BAY GRASS FROM 4 FEET HIGH TO ONE FOOT.

        - REMOVED ALL DRIVEWAY LIGHTS FOR EASIER MULCHING AND TO SEE WHICH ONES WORKED. I PUT THEM ALL IN A BOX AND IT WAS PRETTY COOL COMING HOME LATE NIGHT AND SEEING THEM ALL ILLUMINATED ON OUR PATIO.

        - REMOVED ALL AMERICAN FLAGS FOR EASIER MULCHING.

        - RAKED ALL GRASS AND CLIPPINGS INTO 2 MORE TRASHCANS.

        - HAD PUP OUTSIDE WITH ME.....ALWAYS FUN.

        - REPAIRED EXTENSION CORD THAT I RAN HEDGE CLIPPER THROUGH.

        - REMOVED ALL TOOLS AND SEATS FROM MY VAN.

        - LINED MY VAN WITH A CLOTH TARP , 4 X 8 SHEET OF WOOD , AND A GREEN PLASTIC TARP.  THIS IS HOW I LOAD A TON OF MULCH VIA MY CRAPPY VAN.

        - RAKE OUT BACK YARD GARDEN TO PREP FOR SEEDS.

        - WHEELS AND YOUNGEST PLANT VEGGIE AND FLOWER SEEDS.

        - HAVE SOME WATER INSIDE , DO BOOKS , AND THAN TAKE A RIDE TO THE BANK FOR DEPOSITS.

        - ON THE WAY HOME , I DRIVE TO A LOCAL PARK FOR MULCH BUT THERE IS A BASEBALL GAME AND THE FREE MULCH IS NOT ACCESSIBLE BECAUSE OF SO MANY VEHICLES PARKED THERE.

        - TAKE A RIDE TO A 2ND LOCATION AND LOAD UP THE VAN WITH REALLY GOOD THICK DARK MULCH. I WANT TO REALLY LAY IT DEEP THIS SEASON TO TRY TO PREVENT WEEDS FROM GROWING.

        - HELP AN OLD MAN FILL 4 SPACKLE BUCKETS OF MULCH AND LOAD THEM IN HIS CAR. I DID NOT KNOW HIM BUT WE WERE LOADING RIGHT NEXT TO EACH OTHER SO I DECIDED TO HELP HIM.

        - BACK HOME I BEGIN THROWING MULCH IN OUR 7 GARDENS.

        BY 5:30PM I AM DONE. MY HANDS HURT.....SO DOES MY ASS , LEGS , AND LEFT NUT.

        WHEELS MAKES SOME REALLY GOOD CHICKEN CUTLETS AND WE HAVE  DINNER.

        HEAD TO THE NAIL TO STOCK , PREP , FIX , AND DO COMPUTER STUFF. I HAD A FUN HAPPY HOUR AS BARTENDERS CAME IN FROM OTHER BARS IN THE AREA. PLUS I KNEW ONE GUY AND WE TALKED ABOUT OLD FRIENDS AND WHEELSTOCK.

        BACK HOME I AM ABSOLUTELY EXHAUSTED. I HAVE A GLASS OF WINE WITH A SIDE SNIFTER OF BRANDY. WHEELS HEADS TO BED AND I FALL ASLEEP ON THE COUCH.  I FLINCH MY ARM AND SMACK THE WINE & BRANDY GLASSES TO THE GROUND SMASHING ONE AND SPILLING BOTH WINE AND BRANDY ON THE FLOOR.

        RELUCTANTLY CLEAN UP SPILL AND BARELY MAKE IT TO THE BEDROOM. 

        TUESDAY      5 - 16 - 17

        I CALLED 2 LANDSCAPING COMPANIES AND OFFERED THEM TWICE WHAT THEY CHARGE TO MULCH OUR GARDENS. BOTH COULD NOT DO IT BECAUSE THEY ARE BOOKED SOLID.  I WAS TOO TIRED FROM YESTERDAY.

        START MORNING AT 9AM AND DRIVE TO OUR NEIGHBORHOOD PARK.  THERE ARE 2 PILES OF MULCH.  ONE IS STRAW AND CRAPPY LOOKING AND THE OTHER IS RICH DEEP COMPOST TYPE OF SOIL.  THE DAY IS GOING TO BE LONG AND THE ONLY WAY I AM DOING IT IS WITH HELP.......THE KIDS.

        BY 5PM WE ARE DONE.  6 VAN LOADS OF MULCH. THAT IS A SHITLOAD OF SOIL.  6 F'N TIMES WE RETURNED TO THE PARK AND FILLED THE BEJESUS OUT OF THE VAN EACH TIME.  TWO TIMES , MY ELDEST AND I WE HELPED OTHER PEOPLE.  SO , THE 3 OF US AND THE PUPPY FINISHED AROUND 5PM.  ALL GARDENS ARE HEAVILY MULCHED. IN FACT , 2 VAN LOADS MORE THAN LAST YEAR.  DRIVEWAY LIGHTS AND AMERICAN FLAGS ARE PUT BACK IN AND I AM JUST EXHAUSTED. I AM PRETTY SURE OF TRAVELING SOMEWHERE PEACEFUL FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS WILL BE IN MY NEAR FUTURE.

        I TAKE A NAP UNTIL 5:30PM AND I ASK MY YOUNGEST ONE MORE THING TO DO......CLEAN OUT THE VAN WHICH LOOKS LIKE IT GOT IN A FOOD FIGHT WITH MULCH.  IT IS EVERYWHERE.  I REMOVE ONE LARGE GREEN PLASTIC TARP AND HOSE IT DOWN ,THAN REMOVEA PIECE OF PLYWOOD , AND THAN REMOVE A 2ND CLOTH TARP. WE LEAF BLOW THE ENTIRE VAN OUT.  WE PUT ALL SEATS AND TOOLS BACK IN.  WE ALSO HOSE DOWN THE FLOOR MATS AND LAY THEM ON THE DRIVEWAY TO DRY TOMORROW IN THE HEAT.  BESIDES MULCHING LONG HOURS THIS WAS A HUGE TASK IN ITSELF TO PUT THE VAN BACK TOGETHER.

        I TAKE OUR YOUNGEST TO RITA'S WATER ICE FOR A TREAT.

        BACK HOME I LOAD UP AND HEAD TO THE NAIL TO BARTEND , FIX , AND CLEAN FOR 5 HOURS......LOTSA FUN.

        A/C TECH COMES AT 9PM TO FINALIZE OUR 5 TON AIR CONDITIONING UNIT. HE TESTS IT FOR ABOUT 45 MINUTES AND EVERYTHING SEEMS GOOD.

        SUNDAY - LAST LIVE RADIO SHOW AT 6PM AND THAN WE ARE OFF FOR THE SUMMER.

        WEDNESDAY NIGHT - 3 BANDS , FRIDAY NIGHT 6 BANDS , SATURDAY NIGHT - 6 BANDS , AND SUNDAY RADIO SHOW WITH MOST LIKELY 6+ BANDS. THE NAIL IS ON A LITTLE ROLL.

        BACK HOME , AFTER MIDNIGHT , I GO STRAIGHT TO BED.  I SHOULD SLEEP UNTIL MONDAY.

        WEDNESDAY        5 - 17 - 17

        TRIED TO CHILL FOR THE MOST PART TODAY SINCE THE LAST TWO DAYS I AM STILL PULLING PIECES OF MULCH OUT OF MY ASS AND UNDER MY BALLS.

        NAIL 20 YEAR ANNIVERSARY SHIRTS HAVE ARRIVED AND I LIKE THEM. I TOLD MYSELF , " WHEN I OPEN THE BOX AND SEE THE SHIRTS FOR THE FIRST TIME I WANT TO BE PLEASED. "  I WAS VERY PLEASED.  WE ONLY ORDER SHIRTS EVERY 5+ YEARS BUT THESE HAVE A DEEP SPECIAL MEANING TO WHEELS AND I. OUR FRIENDS AND PATRONS WHO ORDERED AND WEAR THEM WE ARE DEEPLY HONORED. THE CUSTOM NAMED SHIRTS ARE AT THE NAIL TODAY. IT HAS BEEN A LONG LONG ROAD TO 20 YEARS. 

        GOT SOME THINGS DONE AROUND THE HOUSE AND ON THE COMPUTER. MAIN THING WAS REMOVING A HEAD BOARD AND BED FRAME FROM OUR KID'S ROOM. I DECIDED TO USE THE HEAD BOARD IN MY ROOM AND STORE THE FRAME. WELL , FIGHTING MY DAMN BED I REMOVED MY MATTRESS AND BOX SPRING TWICE BECAUSE THE STUPID METAL BED FRAME KEPT COMING APART. TO HOLD IT TOGETHER I WELDED IT........THERE......THAT WILL HOLD MY FAT. SOME SCREAMING MAY HAVE BEEN HEARD BY OUR NEIGHBORS.

        GAVE MY ELDEST A RIDE ON THE NEW BIKE TO A FRIEND'S HOUSE , THAN OFF TO THE NAIL.

        FIRST DAY OF FREE ELECTRICITY AT THE NAIL.....WELL , JUST THE 5 TON A/C THAT IS.

        HAD 3 BANDS COME THROUGH TONIGHT.  ALL MUSIC WAS GOOD AND I DID THE DOOR AND MET ALL THE MEMBERS.  EVERYONE WAS VERY COOL.

        A WONDERFUL RIDE HOME ON THE NEW BIKE.  I REALLY LIKE THE SOUND OF THE ENGINE.  IT IS BAD ASS AND TOUGH BUT NOT SO LOUD WHERE SQUIRRELS FALL OUT OF TREES AND OLD LADIES GIVE YOU THE FINGER WHEN YOU RIDE BY.

        WIND DOWN THE NIGHT WITH A GLASS OF WINE , PITA CHIPS & HUMMUS , AND WATCHED THE SEASON FINALE OF " LAST MAN ON EARTH ".  IT WAS VERY GOOD.

        THURSDAY        5 - 18 - 17

        GET MY YOUNGEST OFF TO SCHOOL.

        START MORNING OUT TRYING TO GAIN ACCESS TO AN OLDER EMAIL ADDRESS VIA AN INFINITY CHAT ROOM.  MAN , TALK ABOUT JUMPING THROUGH HOOPS.  45 MINUTES LATER I FINALLY RECEIVED A NEW PASSWORD.

        ANOTHER 45 MINUTES WITH A VACATION WEBSITE. THEY JUST CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY I HAVE NOT BOOKED ANYTHING THROUGH THEM IN OVER A YEAR.  I WONDER WHY ? AN INDIAN REP EVEN CALLED ME AND SAID HE HAS THE RENTER ON THE OTHER LINE AND READY TO BOOK. I COULD NOT UNDERSTAND HIM AND THE DATES REQUESTED WERE ON-HOLD FOR ANOTHER FAMILY.

        LEND LAWN MOWER TO A RENTER AND TALK A LITTLE.

        CUT OUR LAWN BECAUSE IT WAS PRETTY HIGH.  I LIKE OUR MULCH FOR IT IS STAYING A DARK COLOR. I THOUGHT FOR SURE IT WOULD TURN DRY AND BECOME LIGHTER.  MAYBE IT WILL IN A FEW MORE OF THESE HOT DAYS.

        P.E.C.O. HAS NOT CALLED ME........I DON'T CARE.

        HEAD TO THE NAIL TO PREP FOR THE NIGHT. I SPEND ABOUT ONE HOUR CLEANING AND DOING THE NORMAL STUFF. I TURN THE 5 TON A/C ON AT 10AM.

        GET IN CAR AND DRIVE EAST. I DID NOT STOP UNTIL I SAW THE ATLANTIC OCEAN.  OH , I DID STOP FOR A BADA-BING PRIMO HOAGIE.

        UNLOAD TOOLS , PUT THE PHILLIES GAME ON ( THEY BLOW ) , AND BEGIN SOME PUNCH LIST PROJECTS. IT REALLY IS A PERFECT DAY WEATHER-WISE.

        THINGS DONE WERE CLEANING , REPLACING A SCREEN ON THE FRONT STORM DOOR ( FORGOT MY TOOL & I'M A DUMBASS ) , SWITCHED DEADBOLT & DOORKNOB ( MAN DID IT NEED CHANGING , THE RUST , BECAUSE OF LOCATION , REALLY MAKES IT LOOK BAD ) ,  FIXED ALL THE BLINKING CLOCKS , SANDED PARTS OF THE DOORKNOB'S KEEPERS AND CATCHES , CHANGED LOCK BOX CODE , AND FABRICATED 2 L-BRACKETS TO FIX A LEANING FRONT DOOR SCREEN ( IT COULD OF BEEN MY GREATEST MACGYVER EVER ).

        EXPLANATION OF LEANING FRONT STORM DOOR.  WHEN CLOSING THE DOOR THE RIGHT SIDE WAS LEANING DOWN WHILE THE LEFT SIDE STAYED STRAIGHT. THIS WOULD INHIBIT THE DOOR CLOSING PROPERLY. I OPENED THE DOOR AND WEDGED A PLASTIC TUBE VACUUM EXTENDER UNDERNEATH THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE DOOR. THIS MADE IT LEVEL AND EVEN.  USING THIN METAL FROM A ELECTRICAL OUTLET BOX HOLDER I CUT 2 PARALLELOGRAMS AND BLACK TAPED THEM TOGETHER. THAN WITH SHEET METAL SCREWS I SECURED THE TOP OF THE STORM DOOR'S PANEL TO THE LEFT SIDE OF THE DOOR'S PANEL. I REMOVED THE PLASTIC VACUUM PART AND WALLAH !!.....ALL GOOD. I AMAZED MYSELF.

        BY 6PM I WAS WINDING DOWN. I LOAD UP SOME BEERS , CHAIR , TABLE , AND WALK TO THE BEACH. WITHIN 1 MINUTE I WAS SITTING IN THE SUN , TAKING A PICTURE OF 2 BEERS ON A TABLE WITH THE OCEAN AS THE BACKGROUND ( ALONG WITH 2 SMOKING GIRLS IN BIKINIS AND POSTED IT ON FACEBOOK)

        I AM SURPRISED THERE ARE A FAIR AMOUNT OF PEOPLE HERE.  MOST OF THEM ARE FISHING AND HAVE VEHICLES ON THE BEACH. THERE IS 3 GROUPS OF YOUNG COLLEGE KIDS. ALL GROUPS ARE GIRLS.  THE ONLY ONE ON THE BEACH MY AGE IS A GRAND-MOM WITH HER GRAND DAUGHTER. I TALKED TO HER FOR A MINUTE ABOUT HOW FAST KIDS GROW UP.  I WOULD OF TALKED TO THE COLLEGE GIRLS BUT THEY MAY HAVE ROLLED ME BACK INTO THE OCEAN.

        SURPRISINGLY THE WATER WAS NOT ICE COLD.

        I GOT A FAIR AMOUNT OF " LIKES " & " COMMENTS " ON MY FACEBOOK PICTURE.  I POSTED A PICTURE OF A YARDS BRAWLER BEER AND A MAGIC HAT #9 BEER ON A TABLE WITH MY FEET , OCEAN , AND THE 2 HOT GIRLS IN BIKINIS ALL IN THE PHOTO.  I WROTE ," 10 TRASHCANS OF WEEDS AND 6 VAN LOADS OF MULCH........I NEEDED A CHANGE OF SCENERY. "

        BACK HOME I DO LITTLE STUFF , HAVE A NICE DINNER OF LEFTOVERS THAT WHEELS MADE ( SUPER LARGE SHRIMP , CHICKEN , BROCCOLI , AND BROTH....VERY GOOD ) , AND WATCHED THE MOVIE " STRIPES " WHICH IS ACTUALLY STILL PRETTY ENTERTAINING.

        LOCK IN 3 MORE RENTALS FOR THE SUMMER.

        IT IS A PICTURE PERFECT DAY AND SEVERAL TIMES I JUST WALKED OUTSIDE JUST TO FEEL AND SMELL THE OCEAN AIR.  BUT, THERE WAS SOMETHING BOTHERING ME AND ALWAYS HAS SINCE 2006. I KEPT TELLING MYSELF ," WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING ??!! "  SO , WHAT HAS BEEN BOTHERING ME FOR 11 YEARS ?  IT NICHES AT MY BRAIN AND GNAWS AT MY GUT THAT A HUGE DECISION WAS MADE AND I NEVER SAW IT BECAUSE I WAS CLOUDED BY BEAUTIFUL SCENERY........THE ANSWER.........THIS CONDO.  SEVERAL TIMES WHILE WALKING AROUND I SAID TO MYSELF , " I AM A DUMBASS ".

        SO LET ME EXPLAIN , IN 2006 WE BOUGHT THIS OCEANFRONT CONDO. AT THE TIME IT WAS PEEK MARKET AND OTHER CONDOS WERE HIGHER IN PRICE. LITTLE DID WE KNOW THAT PRICES WOULD PLUMMET TO 1/3 THE VALUE TODAY.  DON'T GET ME WRONG I ABSOLUTELY ADORE THIS CONDO AND ALL THE WORK WE DID HERE. THE LOCATION IS PHENOMENAL , OUR NEIGHBORS ARE SUPER COOL NOW , AND THERE IS AT LEAST 50 SMALL THINGS I CAN NAME THAT ARE POSITIVE ABOUT THIS HOME. BUT , THERE IS ALWAYS ONE SUPER BIG THING THAT ALWAYS MAKES ME SHAKE MY HEAD. THE ANSWER - OUR BALCONY DOES NOT HAVE AN OCEAN VIEW. YOU CAN SEE THE OCEAN ON AN ANGLE AND IF OUR NEIGHBORS ARE SITTING ON THEIR BALCONY WE LITERALLY ARE LOOKING OVER THEIR SHOULDERS.  IT IS AWKWARD AND I STILL SHAKE MY HEAD THAT SO MUCH MONEY WAS SPENT AND THIS ONE FATAL FLAW I DID NOT SEE BECAUSE AT THE TIME IT WAS A GOOD BUY.  IN HINDSIGHT , IT WAS NOT A GOOD BUY BECAUSE REAL ESTATE DROPPED FASTER THAN A TEENAGERS PANTS ON PROM NIGHT. I CAN'T REMEMBER BUT I NEVER SAID TO MYSELF , " CHRIS , IDIOT , DUMAIS , GET A 2ND OPINION OR THERE IS NO OCEAN VIEW HERE. " I JUST KICK MYSELF TO THIS DAY.  NOW, LET ME STRESS AGAIN , THERE IS OVER 50 REALLY GOOD LITTLE THINGS ABOUT THIS HOME AND I ABSOLUTELY LOVE BEING HERE.......BUT MAN IT BE NICE TO HAVE AN OCEAN VIEW FOR SITTING , WATCHING SEAGULLS , AND SIPPING ON BRANDY.

        OFF TO BED WHERE I SLEPT GOOD.

        FRIDAY       5 - 19 - 17

        I THOUGHT IT BE AN EASIER DAY...........IT WASN'T.

        START MORNING EARLY. I DID WAKE UP AT 4:30AM BUT WENT BACK TO BED AFTER PEEING CLOSE TO A GALLON AND A HALF.  MAN , I ALMOST FILLED THE BOWL. I ACTUALLY HAD TO USE THE WALL TO LEAN FORWARD ON AND BRACE MYSELF FOR STANDING SO LONG AND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.

        CLEANING MODE......AND SOME MORE PROJECTS.  LET'S GET STARTED WITH THE UPSTAIRS :

        - SCRUBBED A FILTHY PATIO AREA. I REPLACED WATER IN A BUCKET 10 TIMES.  UP AND DOWN STEPS TO GET FRESH CLEAN WATER FROM AN OUTSIDE HOSE , ON MY HANDS & KNEES WIPING CONCRETE FOR 2 HOURS.  THIS WAS NOT FUN AT ALL BUT IT REALLY NEEDED IT.  THE BLACK COATING FROM THE PATIO WAS BEING TRACKED INTO OUR 2ND FLOOR WITH NEW CARPETS ( WHICH NEED TO BE CLEANED NOW ).  I ALSO WIPED DOWN A GATE DOOR , STORAGE BOX , THREW OUT HORRIBLE LOOKING MATS , FIXED A SLIDING SCREEN DOOR , MADE A WELCOME MAT OF OLD CARPETING , FIXED SOME DOOR STOPS , FIXED A MINI-BLIND THAT WAS BROKEN ON THE SLIDING DOOR , TESTED THE TV , CLEANED & STORED A GLASS INSERT FOR A STORM DOOR , WIPED DOWN A CEILING FAN , SWEPT OUR HALLWAY AND SOME STEPS , VACUUMED , RELOCATED A WELCOME MAT , CUT SOME FIBERS RIPPED OUT OF OUR CARPETING , AND THREW ALL TRASH OUT.  IT IS 11:30AM AND I AM ALREADY TIRED......... AND ONLY FINISHED THE UPSTAIRS........UGH.

        MAKE 2 WONDERFUL EGG & CHEESE OMELET WITH WHEAT BREAD SANDWICHES. TOOK A BREAK FROM CLEANING AND WENT ON THE INTERNET FOR ALITTLE......OH , AND TOOK A 15 MINUTE NAP.

        DOWNSTAIRS IS NEXT - SWEPT THE WHOLE FIRST FLOOR WHICH INCLUDED MOVING FURNITURE , THREW OUT A BUSTED PLASTIC CHAIR , CLEANED FRONT WINDOWS INSIDE & OUT , TEMPORARILY MACGYVERED A WINDOW THAT DOES NOT HOLD IN THE UP POSITION , WIPED DOWN ANYTHING I COULD , MADE BEDS , TESTED ALL TV'S , LOCKED WINDOWS , CHANGED THE A/C FILTER , STRAIGHTENED OUR STORAGE CLOSET , CHANGED SOME LIGHT BULBS , WIPED DOWN THE FRONT DOOR , CLEANED A TUB CEILING THAT LOOKED LIKE RED LIPSTICK ( MAN , WHAT POSITION WAS THIS CHICK IN WHERE SHE IS KISSING A CEILING ? ) , CLEANED A VENT , FIXED A BED FRAME , INSTALLED A CLOSET LIGHT , REPLACED A VACUUM , AND END MY PROJECTS WITH A POOP THAT LOOK LIKE A DOLPHIN STICKING HIS HEAD OUT OF THE WATER WHILE STANDING ON SOME JETTIES.

        BY 1:30PM I HAVE TO GET ON THE ROAD. I MADE EXCELLENT TIME ALL THE WAY UNTIL I HIT PHILLY.

        STOPPED AT THE NAIL TO GET THE A/C ON AND THAN ROLLED HOME. GREETED BY MY YOUNGEST AND THE PUP THEY HELPED ME UNLOAD. 

        DO SOME COMPUTER STUFF , LAY DOWN FOR ABOUT 30 MINUTES , SHOWER , AND IT WAS OFF TO THE NAIL ON MY MOTORCYCLE.

        PREPPED , BARTENDED , DID THE DOOR , AND HAD A DRINK BEFORE LEAVING.

        PRETTY HOT FEMALE LEAD SINGER ASKED IF SHE CAN SIT ON MY BIKE AND TAKE BAND PICTURES.  THAT WOULD BE A " YES , YOU CAN CERTAINLY PUT YOUR ASS ON MY SEAT ". YOU CAN SEE THE PICTURE ON FACEBOOK.

        A BEAUTIFUL RIDE HOME UNTIL I GET ABOUT 1 MILE FROM THE NAIL........THAN MY BIKE RUNS OUT OF GAS. I GLIDED FOR ABOUT 10 SECONDS, CROSSED INTO ONCOMING TRAFFIC , AND PULLED UP ON A SIDEWALK. I TURNED ON MY FUEL RESERVE , STARTED THE BIKE , DROVE UP A SIDEWALK , WENT INTO ONCOMING LANE AGAIN , AND PULLED IN A GAS STATION THAT WAS ONLY 200 FEET AWAY. ( BOTH TIMES I WENT INTO ONCOMING LANES NO TRAFFIC COULD BE SEEN , THOUGH I THINK I DID CUT OFF A PATRON AT THE NAIL )

        FILL GAS TANK AND PATRON FROM THE NAIL PULLS IN GAS STATION TO CHECK ON ME.  THOUGHT THAT WAS VERY NICE OF HIM.

        AGAIN , TAKE A BEAUTIFUL RIDE HOME ON THE BIKE.

        CHILL WITH MY YOUNGEST AND PUP AND WIND DOWN THE NIGHT WITH A COUPLE OF LIBATIONS.  BY 10PM I WAS PRETTY TIRED.

        REMINDER - SUNDAY IS LAST RADIO SHOW BEFORE WE TAKE OFF FOR THE SUMMER.

        SATURDAY         5 - 20 - 17

        RADIO SHOW TODAY !!

        UP EARLY AS ALWAYS AND PLANNING OUT MY DAY.

        WHEELS AND I HAVE TO REPLACE OUR BIG SCREEN TV. VIA A TECH FRIEND AND ME GOOGLING OUR TV SEEMS IRREPARABLE AND JUST TOO EXPENSIVE TO FIX. ON THE OTHER HAND I SPEND A WEEK OR MORE LOOKING FOR THE BEST DEALS.  I USUALLY GO BY REVIEWS FIRST AND PRICE 2ND BUT THIS TIME I GOT BOTH.  WALMART , SMART 60" TV , SHARP PRODUCT...........$426.  OVER 800 REVIEWS GAVE THIS TV 4 OF 5 STARS.

         IT WASN'T LONG UNTIL I WAS ON THE PA. TURNPIKE HEADING TO A SIDE JOB. ARRIVING AT THE JOB I HAD TO TAKE DOWN A CEILING FAN AND CHANDELIER LIGHT FIXTURE TO INSTALL A RECEIVER FOR A REMOTE CONTROL. THIS WAS NOT A FUN JOB BUT I GOT IT DONE AND IT WAS A PRETTY COOL FEATURE TO HAVE.

        BACK HOME I TRANSFER ALOT OF TOOLS FROM OUR CAR TO THE VAN. I AM PREPPING FOR ANOTHER BIG SIDE JOB TOMORROW.  YEP , WORKING ON A SUNDAY. ACTUALLY I ALWAYS SAY , " EVERY DAY IS THE SAME TO ME. THERE IS NO WEEKENDS. "

        OFF TO HOME DEPOT TO PICK UP 2 X 4'S , DRYWALL , CHICKEN WIRE , SPRAY PAINT , 50:1 OIL , AMERICAN FLAGS , OUTSIDE FLUSH MOUNT LANTERN , AND WEED KILLER.  YEP , I COULD SHOP HOME DEPOT EVERY DAY.

        BACK HOME I FINISH CUTTING MY LAWN WITH OUR PUSH MOWER. THAN MY YOUNGEST HELPS ME PUT UP 2' HIGH CHICKEN WIRE AROUND OUR GARDEN.  WE INSTALLED STAKES FOR MOR STABILITY.  THIS YEAR I WANT TO KEEP THE BUNNIES OUT AND REALLY GIVE OUR GARDEN VEGGIES A CHANCE TO GROW.  IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE AS I PULLED UP THERE WAS A LARGE RABBIT RIGHT BY OUR GARDEN.

        CLEAN UP THE TOOLS , TAKE A SHOWER , AND HEAD TO THE NAIL. IT WAS ONLY MINUTES UPON ARRIVING AND THE BANDS STARTED SHOWING UP AT 5:30PM.  I GOT MY CLEANING DONE AND PREPPING. I SPENT 45 MINUTES CONTACTING BANDS FOR TOMORROW'S LAST RADIO SHOW BEFORE THE SUMMER BREAK.

        WHEELS GAVE ME A RIDE TO THE NAIL , WENT FOR A WALK WITH A FRIEND , WENT HOME , SHOWERED , AND RETURNED TO THE NAIL TO GET ME AGAIN. IT WAS TIME FOR SOME R & R WITH THE COUSINS. IT WAS A VERY GOOD TIME. WE MET AT A RESTAURANT IN BALA CYNWYD CALLED " PESCATORE " WHICH ROUGHLY TRANSLATED MEANS " FISHERMAN ". ANYWAY , THE PLACE WAS PACKED AND THE ONLY SLIGHTLY BAD THING OF THE WHOLE NIGHT WAS OUR 7:30PM RESERVATION GOT PUSHED BACK TO 8:10PM.  LET ME TELL YOU FROM STAFF TO FOOD TO EVERYTHING WAS TOP NOTCH.  PUT IT THIS WAY ......WE CLOSED THE PLACE.  THE FOOD WAS EXCELLENT.

        BACK HOME I AM PRETTY TIRED AND HEAD TO BED FOR ANOTHER LONG DAY IS TOMORROW.

        SUNDAY       5 - 21 - 17

        LAST RADIO SHOW BEFORE SUMMER BREAK WAS JUST TOO FUNNY.  A GREAT SURPRISE SPECIAL GUEST WE HAD.  AFTER THE SHOW WE DID CHOCOLATE MARTINI'S.....IT WAS THAT DAMN GOOD. HAVE TO THANK THE BANDS SOCKO AND MIDHEAVEN FOR HAVING FUN WITH US.

        START MORNING OUT WITH MY USUAL UP AT 4AM.  BY 8:20AM , I HAD MY VAN LOADED AND HEADED TO ANOTHER SIDE JOB.  IT WAS A SPECIAL PROJECT JOB SO I BROUGHT IN MY BROTHER. I HAD SOME ISSUES WITH HOME DEPOT BUT BY 12 NOON WE WERE HEADING HOME.  I WILL RETURN SEVERAL MORE TIMES FOR SPACKLING AND PAINTING.  OVER ALL , THE ADDING OF A DOOR AT THE BOTTOM OF A STEP AREA AND CONSTRUCTING A WALL CAME OUT EXCELLENT.

        BACK HOME I SPLIT AN ITALIAN WAWA HOAGIE WITH MY YOUNGEST.  THAN WE GO OUTSIDE A FINALIZE ALL OUR GARDENS BY BORDERING THE FRONT ONES WITH SEASHELLS AND NEW AMERICAN FLAGS.  IT CAME OUT VERY NICE. ALSO , I AM AMAZED THE WEEDS ARE ALREADY STARTING TO POP THROUGH THE MULCH. THEY ARE LIKE TERMINATOR WEEDS.

        WHEELS VISITS HER MOM WITH A FRIEND.  ALWAYS A GOOD TIME GETTING TOGETHER WITH THE BEST FRIEND.

          LOAD JEEP WITH RADIO EQUIPMENT AND HEAD TO THE NAIL.  I BEGIN MY ROUTINE OF OPENING AND THAN MOVE TO SETTING UP THE RADIO SHOW.  I INSTANTLY SEE SOMETHING IS WRONG. I TOLD THE SATURDAY NIGHT SHOW MANAGER TO PUT OUR PA SYSTEM BACK TOGETHER BECAUSE HE WAS TAKING IT APART AND MOVING THE MIXER.  WELP , TODAY I ARRIVE AND WE HAVE NO MIXER POWER SUPPLY , AN EXTRA COMPRESSOR CORD , AND MISSING 1/4" ADAPTERS FOR OUR RCA CABLES.  THE ENGINEER AND MYSELF SCRAMBLED TO FIND ALL 3 OF THESE.

        SHOW STARTED 20 MINUTES LATE BUT WE ENDED UP ADAPTING OUR SOUND SYSTEM TO WORK.  MAN, IT'S ALWAYS SOMETHING.

        A SUPER FUN NIGHT AND A LONG DAY. BUT HAVING " HOLLYWOOD " AND " B.B. " TOGETHER MEANS WE LAUGHED ALL NIGHT.

        I MADE A BET WITH A PATRON BEFORE I LEFT. WOULD HE GIVE ME 30 POINTS AND THE BOSTON CELTICS TONIGHT ? HE AGREED AND THE CELTICS ENDED UP WINNING IN CLEVELAND.  SO DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING.

        BACK HOME I MAKE A PIZZA WITH MY YOUNGEST.  WE HANG OUT TOGETHER AND I HEAD TO BED.  NOTHING LIKE STARTING YOUR DAY AT 4AM AND GOING TO BED BY MIDNIGHT.  THE NEXT DAY ( MONDAY ) I WAS UP AT 4:30AM.

        OH , ONE MORE THING,  STILL NOT CALLING P.E.C.O.

        MONDAY      5 - 22 - 17

        Nothing hurts more than innocent children being victimized , injured , or killed. Kids uniting at a concert to see performer Ariana Grande should of been a wonderful experience. This bombing at Manchester Arena is devastating. As a parent I can not fathom the forever pain of losing a child. I am so painfully sorry.
        To stop terrorism we must go on their level. They are willing to blow themselves up and kids ?? It is time to fight in any way possible. Enough is enough. All countries from around the world must go to War against these despicable scumbags and completely eradicate them. This must be priority one.
        My heart and soul absolutely breaks for the families. Thoughts and prayers Manchester.........thoughts and prayers.

        I AM REALLY GETTING SICK OF SAYING " LIFE GOES ON ". THIS CHAOS OF TERRORISM HAS TO BE STOPPED. ARE YOU TELLING ME WITH THE FBI AND ALL THE COUNTRIES HELPING THEY CAN NOT FIND THESE LOWLIFE ORGANIZATIONS AND BLOW THEM TO HIGH HELL ?  I JUST DON'T GET IT. THEY HAVE TO LIVE , EAT , AND SHIT ON THEMSELVES SOMEWHERE.

        UP REAL EARLY AGAIN. MY LONG WEEK STARTS ON WEDNESDAY SO I AM TRYING TO SEMI-CHILL.

        HAS ANY TEENAGE CHILDREN EVER LISTENED TO THEIR PARENTS ?

        ONE THING MADE ME GIGGLE TODAY. I WATCHED A JEALOUS SQUIRREL LEAP TO OUR BIRDFEEDER. IT SAW THE BIRDS HAVING A GOOD TIME EATING AND HANGING OUT WITH EACH OTHER. SO , HE WANTED TO JOIN THE PARTY. HE MAKES A WONDERFUL LEAP ONTO THE TOP OF THE FEEDER BUT SLIPS RIGHT DOWN TO THE GROUND SINCE I GREASED IT WITH WD40.

        OFF TO THE NAIL TO MAKE PHONE CALLS , EMAIL BANDS , POST ADS ON FACEBOOK , CLEAN , PREP , STOCK , MEAT WITH MERCURY AMUSEMENT , MEET AN OLD FRIEND , AND BARTEND.

        NOT SURE WHY I WAS SO TIRED TODAY.  MAYBE BECAUSE I AM UP AT 3:30AM. I CLOSE THE NAIL AROUND 11PM AND JUST AS I AM ABOUT TO SET THE ALARM THE PHONE GOES OFF. A GUY ASKS IF WE ARE OPEN. I TELL HIM NO ONE IS HERE AND I AM LITERALLY LEAVING RIGHT NOW.  10 SECONDS LATER THE PHONE RINGS AGAIN. ANOTHER GUY ( SAME GROUP I'M GUESSING ) TELLS ME HE HAS A LIMO AND A BACHELOR PARTY OF 10 GUYS AND THEY WANT TO COME HERE.  I TELL HIM TO GO DOWN THE STREET TO MCSORLEYS.  I WAS JUST TOO TIRED.

        AT HOME I WIND DOWN THE NIGHT WITH A NIGHTCAP.  I FALL ASLEEP ON THE COUCH.

        TUESDAY             5 - 23 - 17

        NICE EASY DAY TO PREP FOR MY LONG WEDNESDAY............NOT QUITE.

         OH , TODAY'S WRITING WILL OFFEND MOST OF YOU OR IT WILL MAKE YOU THINK I AM A PERVERT OR BOTH.

        CANCELLING CANADA.  YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT THIS SUBJECT. WELL , MY ELDEST SAYS TO ME A FRIEND IN CANADA IS WILLING TO LET HER CRASH AT HIS PLACE. SHE WOULD NOW NEED TO CANCEL HER " UNCANCELLABLE " RESERVATION BECAUSE OF A SPECIAL RATE THE KID BOUGHT AT.  WE ALSO FOUND OUT SHE COULD GET THE SAME HOTEL USING OUR TIMESHARE POINTS.  3 HOURS LATER AND HAVING PEOPLE TELLING ME SHE CAN NOT CANCEL THE RESERVATION I GOT IT CANCELLED.

        NEXT , I MUST CONTACT OUR TIMESHARE COMPANY.  THE WAIT IS OVER 60 MINUTES WHICH IS VERY RARE. I DECIDE TO CALL AND USE THE SPEAKER PHONE.  2 1/2 HOURS OF PLAYING SCRABBLE , POKER , AND DOING MY EMAILS I HAD TO LEAVE.  AFTER 3 HOURS ON HOLD MY KID CALLS ME AND SAYS THE TIMESHARE REP ANSWERED. THE LADY ASKED A QUESTION AND SAID SHE WOULD TRANSFER THEM TO ANOTHER DEPARTMENT.  ANOTHER HOUR AND THEY JUST HANG OUT. SO GLAD I GOT OUT OF THIS TIMESHARE SCENE.

        LOST ALL THAT MORNING TIME. I HAD SOME PROJECTS I WANTED TO DO.  I FORCED MYSELF TO DO THEM EVEN THOUGH IT WAS GETTING LATE. TRIED TO SOUND PROOF MY VAN'S MUFFLER WHICH SOUNDS LIKE A MOTORBOAT. WITH THE HELP OF MY KID I COULD NOT FIND THE HOLE TO SEAL IT. NEXT , USING RUSTOLIUM PROTECTIVE COATING FOR RUST I SPRAY UNDERNEATH OUR VAN WHICH IS KINDA RUSTY. I GET A SHITLOAD OF PAINT ON ME AND NEED TO USE GASOLINE TO REMOVE IT. BY THE WAY , GASOLINE REMOVES EVERYTHING SUPER QUICKLY. NEXT , LOOK AT A WEED WHACKER FOR ABOUT 20 MINUTES. I COULD NOT GET IT TO START. NEXT , WEEDS ARE ALREADY COMING BACK SO I SPRAYED WEED KILLER IN ALL THE GARDENS.

        NOW I AM TIRED. ALL OF US SIT FOR A NICE DINNER WHEELS MADE.........PASTA AND SHRIMP IN AN PESTO OIL TYPE OF SAUCE ALONG WITH CHICKEN CUTLETS AND VEGGIES.

        OFF TO THE NAIL FOR POOL LEAGUE NIGHT. I RUN HARD FOR ALMOST 3 HOURS. THE BEST PART WAS A GIRL TURNING 21. OUR ID MACHINE EVEN SHOWED " HAPPY BIRTHDAY " WHEN I CARDED HER.  OH , THE BEST THING WAS NOT CARDING HER BUT HER 8 FRIENDS WHO CAME WITH HER.............EVERY ONE OF THEM COULD OF BEEN A MODEL. I ALMOST TEXTED MY BROTHER TO GET TO THE NAIL RIGHT NOW.  ALL WEARING SUPER SKIMPY OUTFITS , FLAT BELLIES SHOWING , SUPER ASSES , LONG HAIR..................I WAS DEPRESSED IN ABOUT 10 MINUTES. THE GIRLS PRE-GAMED FOR ABOUT 2 HOURS AND THAN HEADED TO PHILLY. I WAS GLAD TO SEE THEM GO BECAUSE FANTASYING SO MUCH IT WAS TOUGH BARTENDING WITH A CHUBBY.

        GAVE OUT A FAIR AMOUNT OF NAIL 20 YEAR ANNIVERSARY SHIRTS.  EVERYONE WAS SUPER COOL WITH ONLY ONE DRAW BACK. I ALLOWED THE VISITING TEAM WHO I REALLY LIKE TO TAKE OVER THE RADIO. THE GUY PLAYED USHER ALMOST THE ENTIRE TIME. THE GOOD THING ......GIRLS DANCED WHICH IS REALLY LIKE DIFFERENT SEX POSITIONS.

        ANOTHER COOL THING WAS AN ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE FEMALE POOL PLAYER ON THE OTHER TEAM. SHE IS A BARTENDER DOWN THE STREET AND SHE WAS WEARING A KUTZTOWN TEE SHIRT AND SHORT SHORTS. OH GOOD GOD THE THINGS I DO TO HER IF I WAS 30 YEARS YOUNGER , HAD HAIR , AND LOST A HALF TON. ANYWAY , SHE WAS VERY COOL AND WE TALKED KUTZTOWN. I TOLD HER I WENT THERE TOO BACK IN THE 60'S AND WE SHARED SOME STORIES. EVERY TIME SHE TALKED I VISUALIZED HER NAKED. I THINK SHE WAS DOING THE SAME WITH ME.

        A FORMER GIRLFRIEND COMES IN TO MEET UP WITH A NAIL POOL PLAYER. BY THE END OF THE NIGHT THEY WERE SLOW DANCING AND SUCKING FACE.  ANOTHER REGULAR COUPLE WHO THE GIRL IS JUST FLAT OUT A PIECE OF ASS AND DRUNK WERE ALSO GROPING EACH OTHER.  TO SAY I FELT LIKE THE BIGGEST 5TH WHEEL IN THE WORLD WOULD BE AN UNDERSTATEMENT. THIS WAS AT THE VERY END OF THE NIGHT AND IT WAS JUST THE 5 OF US.  THEY ARE SLOW DANCING AND THE GUYS ARE GETTING THEIR CROUCHES RUBBED BY THEIR GIRLS ASSES GRINDING UP IN FRONT OF THEM. THE MUSIC & DANCING CONTINUED WHILE I PLAYED INTERNET SCRABBLE. GET THE PICTURE ? ......FAT GUY WITH 4 GOOD LOOKING THIN PEOPLE HUMPING EACH OTHER. I FEEL LIKE THE LONELY COWBOY AT THE TABLE DRINKING A MUG OF BEER LIKE THE SCENE IN " THE BLUES BROTHERS ".  THE MUSIC DID NOT HELP AT ALL AS " FEEL LIKE MAKING LOVE " CAME ON FOLLOWED BY " I WANT YOUR SEX " BY GEORGE MICHAELS.  I YELLED OUT " OH C'MON !!! " WHEN DEF LEPPARD'S " POUR SOME SUGAR ON ME " PLAYED NEXT I WENT TO THE BACK KITCHEN AND SLAMMED MY DICK IN THE WALK-IN REFRIGERATOR DOOR.

        I COULD NOT TAKE ANYMORE SO BY 1AM I ASKED THE 2 COUPLES TO ZIP UP AND HEAD OUT.  I CLOSED THE BAR AND STOOD IN THE WALK-IN FREEZER FOR ABOUT 10 MINUTES TO LET EVERYTHING ON MY BODY CHILL DOWN INCLUDING MY COCK. I BECAME SUPER MELANCHOLY AS I DID THIS.

        ARRIVED HOME AND WENT STRAIGHT TO BED. I TRIED TO THINK ABOUT RUBBING ONE OFF TO THE BEAUTIFUL SIGHTS OF SO MANY FEMALE CUSTOMERS TONIGHT. BUT IT WAS FUTILE. I REALIZE WHO I AM AND I STARTED THINKING ABOUT MY CRAZY WEDNESDAY.  I COULDN'T GET HARD IF MILA KUNIS SAT ON MY FACE.

        I SLEPT GOOD TONIGHT........GO FIGURE.

        WEDNESDAY        5 - 24 - 17

        HOW THE HELL AM I UP AFTER A 16 HOUR DAY ?

        I'LL TUMBLE FOR YOU. YEP DID A LITTLE CULTURE CLUB HERE. WHEELS WHILE WALKING TRIPS , FALLS , AND ROLLS INTO A STREET. YEP , EXERCISE CAN BE STRENUOUS.  A NICE COUPLE PULLED OVER TO SEE IF SHE WAS OKAY. SOME BRUISING ON THE KNEE , A HURT WRIST , AND MAYBE ALITTLE HUMILIATED BUT THAT IS THE EXTENT OF IT. WHAT SUCKS IT WAS HER GOOD WRIST AND HAND. AFTER YESTERDAYS BLOG YOU CAN FIGURE OUT WHAT THAT MEANS.

        SPEAKING OF YESTERDAY BLOGS.  I GET OVER 100 RESPONSES TO IT AND ONE LADY WAS PISSED AT ME.  THE AGITATED MOM DID NOT APPRECIATE MY SEX HUMOR. I DID NOT KNOW HER BUT SHE SEEMED HOT WHEN WRITING TO ME. I DO HER.

        MY BROTHER HIT SOME PICTURE PERFECT WEATHER THIS PAST WEEKEND IN THE POCONOS. HE RENTED OUR MOUNTAIN WITH 10+ FRIENDS AND MAN DID HE TELL ME HE HAD A GOOD TIME. WE HAVE DONE 1000'S OF THINGS FOR EACH OTHER OVER THE YEARS BUT I WAS SO GLAD HE HAD A GOOD TIME. EVEN THOUGH HE HELPED ME BUILD THE HOUSE HE STILL OFFERS RENT EVERY YEAR.....OLD SCHOOL YOU RARELY SEE NOWADAYS.

        OFF TO 4 SIDE JOBS AT 3 LOCATIONS.  THIS WAS A LONG ASS DAY FOR A 270 POUND MAN.  HERE ARE SOME OF MY ADVENTURES :

        1ST -  IN HARLEYSVILLE I SAND AND SPACKLE FROM A JOB I DID WITH MY BROTHER ON SUNDAY.

        2ND -  OFF TO LANSDALE FOR MANY PROJECTS LIKE PAINTING 3 EXTERIOR WINDOWS , REPLACING A KITCHEN LIGHT , REPLACING AN EXTERIOR LANTERN , INSTALLING 2 TOWEL BARS , FABRICATING A DRIP EDGE FOR A GUTTER , REMOVING A CLOSET AND INSTALLING A CLOTHING BAR , AND PAINTING 2 EXTERIOR PILLARS. I ALSO TOOK HOME A SHELVING UNIT AND HALF CLOTHING BARS TO TRASH IN OUR DUMPSTER...........FREE TO THE CUSTOMER.

        3RD - A NEIGHBOR WALKS UP TO ME AND ASKS IF I CAN FIX SOME THINGS FOR HER. SHE ASKED FOR A PRICE AND I TELL HER " FREE ". AGAIN , IT IS NOT ABOUT THE MONEY.  ON A 40 FOOT LADDER I NAILED BACK SOME FACIA BOARD TO GO BACK UNDER A ROOF SHINGLE EDGE , RE-NAILED THE LENGTH OF A GUTTER , AND FIXED SOME J-CHANNEL. AGAIN.......FREE AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THE LADY.

        4TH - BACK TO HARLEYSVILLE TO SPONGE AND ADD ANOTHER COAT OF SPACKLE.

        I RACE BACK HOME AND MADE GOOD TIME.  WHEELS WATCHES ME PEE IN THE BACK YARD AND LOOKS AT ME LIKE AN ASSHOLE.

        I AM HOME 2 MINUTES AND RACE TO THE NAIL FOR A 3 BAND NIGHT. I BARTEND , DO THE DOOR , AND ORGANIZE THE BANDS WITH SOUND.  EVERYONE WAS COOL AND THE MUSIC WAS VERY GOOD.

        PHILLIES JUST OUTRIGHT BLOW.

        NEW TV AND MOUNT DELIVERED.  THIS SHOULD BE FUN.

        YESTERDAY INSTALLED A FRONT OUTSIDE LIGHT. OF COURSE IT DID NOT FIT OVER THE ORIGINAL LIGHT SO AGAIN I HAD TO MACGYVER IT WITH SOME WHITE CAPPING METAL.  IT CAME OUT REALLY NICE.

        BACK HOME AFTER 11PM. MY LEGS ARE SO HEAVY I FEEL LIKE FAT ALBERT TRYING TO STAND UP WITH HIS SHOES TIED. HEY HEY HEY I'M A FAT ASS.

        WIND DOWN THE NIGHT WATCHING FAMILY GUY WITH MY YOUNGEST IN HER BEDROOM.  ONE SCENE MADE ME LAUGH OUT LOUD FOR A SOLID MINUTE.  BRIAN THE DOG USES STEWIE'S TIME MACHINE TO BANG CHICKS.  HE BREAKS IT MAKING THE WORLD GO IN REVERSE......PEOPLE WALKING BACKWARDS , AIRPLANES FLYING BACKWARDS , KIDS RIDING BIKES BACKWARDS......YOU GET IT.   THE VOMIT AND STEWIE GETTING A FRESH DIAPER REMOVED AND PUTTING ON A DIRTY DIAPER FROM THE TRASHCAN BY LOIS WAS HILARIOUS.

        A VERY COOL MANAGER OF THE SHOW TONIGHT.  I SPLIT A PIZZA WITH HIM AND GAVE HIM OPEN BAR FOR HELPING US OUT.  IT WAS A SLOW NIGHT BUT I ALWAYS FEEL DOING THE RIGHT THING IS FIRST.  AGAIN, NOT ABOUT MONEY HERE JUST BEING COOL TO A PROMOTER WHO HELPS OUT OUR LITTLE DIVE BAR.

        OH , I AM STILL THINKING OF THOSE SUPER HOT CHICKS LAST NIGHT HERE FOR THE 21ST BIRTHDAY PARTY.  I AM SURE I WILL GET ANOTHER EMAIL FORM ANGRY MOM.

           

         

         

         

         

         

         

         

         

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

 

 

 

 

 

    

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

  

 

 

 

  

  

 

  

  

  

 

  

 

 

 

  

 

  

  

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

  

   

 

    

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

  

  

 

  

   

   

 

 

   

 

 

    

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   

   

 

 

 

 

 

  

   
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

   

   

  

     

 

    

    

 

    

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

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