History

THIS CHAPTER WILL REMAIN UP BECAUSE OF SO MANY REQUESTS AND TO REMIND ME OF MOTIVATION WHEN THE CHIPS ARE DOWN.

I continued the philosophy.....work hard ..........treat everyone with respect....and help promote the BANDS as much as possible......these are the basic ingredients.

Wheels ( my wife ) gets upset at me. She accuses me of one thing , " you only care about THE NAIL". She is right. If parties come around or social gatherings , I always say lets go and at the last second, I would have to work on bands , websites , or ideas. She would get upset and I would eventually go out , but I must drive her insane. I have a sleep disorder. It's called sleep apnea. I sleep no more than 4 hours in a row. I use it to my advantage. When I get up in the middle of the night I would start working on NAIL promotions , websites , and business. I eat, sleep, and think THE NAIL. If I had to guess why I am so passionate about being a semi " successful " club. It's probably because certain people were against us. They said it was a foolish idea and a saturated business. We would be throwing money away. I had to prove them wrong. Not for their opinions , but for myself. One person does stick out .........Wheels and I were over a " friends " house. We'll call him " J ". Having a couple of beers with some " friends ", we decided to tell everyone we bought The Nail. J's brother-in-law, " T " , said " it is the worst business to get in and you will fail eventually" ( and this was a person that was successful and I respected back than). I will never ever ever forget that. Here we were ....proud owners of an established 60 year old nightclub that Wheels and I have been patronizing for 2 decades and now told we had no chance of making it.....not even a fake congratulations. He was the first of several to try to shoot our hopes down. Every time someone projects negativity towards our bar..........I WORK EVEN HARDER THAN BEFORE................................................ RUDY of Notre Dame would shit his pants. We bought the club in January of 1997 and as of today , we have the longest tenure of ownership of any owner dating back to its opening day as " Humph's Bar " in 1948. This is a huge monumental enormous gigantic accomplishment since all employees bailed on us eventually when times got tough. My claim to Un-fame......" In our first 2 years of ownership , we lost enough money to buy a house in Havertown." I had 4 jobs and Wheels had 3 to keep The Nail afloat. Our so called friends/employees did not know this. Wheels and I struggled for over 4 years working 60-65 hour work weeks.......you try it and see how long you last. We did it because we believed in the bar and ourselves. Yes we lost friends but true friends and family stuck with us. Little did we know the previous owner Mitch had Daddy buy him the bar as a college gift. So the books looked outstanding without a MORTGAGE. We found out his numbers were all to be all lies, even by settlement. My famous antennas told me many times something was up , but we ended up driving the hard road. The quick story of the last owner and how we purchased The Nail. Wheels and I are sitting next to him at the bar one night. I say , " Hey Mitch , if you ever want to sell The Nail , Wheels and I would be interested. " He replies , " No , no , no , no , no I would never sell it. " He gets up and walks towards the front door. About midway he stops and comes right back to us. He says , " Are you serious ? , we can meet tomorrow at Villanova Diner if you want ". Holy shit did my antennas go up , but they were clouded by my overwhelming feeling that I could own the infamous Nail one day. Anyway , back to the main story of employees and bailing friends. One old school employee left us because he wanted to get " out of the business ". The next week he got a job at a rival bar......not so old school there. These were the high hurdles Wheels and I had to endure.....day in and day out........by ourselves. It was time to rebuild.

Its simple, treat people with some dignity , make some humor about myself ( usually about my penis size or sex life) and remove all angry people.........everybody should be treated the same. Doing jokes about myself I think makes people feel a little better about themselves and they say " you know what , I am not the only one that has money , health , or relationship problems.

Major priority here......nothing worse than sitting next to a drunken idiot proclaiming all life's answers while he works at Burger King deep frying onion rings. A Havertown policeman once quoted to me...." we never get any calls at The Rusty Nail ". I wonder how many bars can say that ? It seems every weekend there are fights or altercations at other clubs. This is our home and that's how we treat people.

When we started, I asked what can we do for the bands " promotionally " wise ? The same old answer ," we did it all and nothing will help". At the time, we were in 11 newspapers, no radio, no websites, and a generic monthly calendar. So , one weekend, Wheels and I went up to our mountain house ( that I built with my own hands ) with "phonebooks" from all over the counties. We made a list of all the newspapers and internet companies. I continue to make the list grow. Now, we are in 56 newspapers and affiliates.........radio promos..........our websites (www.thenail1.com....and www.myspace.com/therustynail together average over 500 " hits " a day....that's unbelievable for such a small nightclub).......modern calendars on time.......new illuminated outdoor sign............35 internet companies ...........mailing list............our own radio show , and it goes on. We have quadrupled the band intake in 13 years. We let bands network with each other by having 4 bands a night on the weekends. I remember a phone call I took in 1999. The person said, " we played THE NAIL a couple a months ago, we brought alot of people, and would like another gig ". I said to him, " you mean no one has called you since than ? " Right there and than I took over the booking. I call all bands every Monday ( or Tuesday sometimes ) before and after they play here ( no other owner does this). Treat bands with respect...they are the backbone of THE NAIL . They are the ones working hard to bring people in, practicing, promoting and such....so, why the hell wouldn't I help them? I have not missed a scheduled Wednesday night audition in 13 years.( no other owner does this). I refuse to be the owner that drinks Jack Daniels all drunk behind the bar with a disgusted face saying " they did not bring a 100 people....... they're done". I give out my home phone number to prevent frustrating phone tag and usually have 20-30 minute conversations with each individual band on the first phone call (no other owner does this) . I know if I was in a band, I would like a direct link to the owner and have a respectable conversation. I put myself in the shoes of the band and tell them how much we appreciate them. I write reviews about the bands 12 hours after they play here on a Wednesday night.( no other owner does this ). We lend out our PA system to bands playing at "other " clubs for FREE ( what the hell other owner does this ? ). Several times with my van and easy pass. We throw a huge "Wheelstock " party at our private vacation home that Wheels and I built ( 4 years to build ).........for 13 years it was completely free .... it was $20 for the last two years..... 330 people showed up last year ( damn hurricane ).....400 the year before ! Once again, a 4 day party and the NAIL supplies breakfast , lunch , dinner , beer , liquor , bands , and showers for everyone for 4 days ( show me one f'n owner that does this !!). We took off since 2006. Will this end because of the incredible amount of time , effort , wear & tear on our home , & neighbors being super pissed at us...........hmmmmm.

We are the only club to have a full list of " band links " on our website ( no other club does this ). Our website is updated everyday under the " history " link , not one day ever missed....this includes weekends, holidays , vacations! I talk about my life as if it were a soap opera........and in this business it usually is......mostly for entertainment though ( 13 years doing that !) ( no other club owner does this ). I could go on and on and on.......no one comes close. I do all this because we do not have the luxury of the " walk in " crowd. We need the bands to work a little harder for us .....that's why I work 10 times harder than any other club owner.

We have our own radio show. We help more than any other club out there !! All bands get plugs on our radio show. All bands do live interviews to promote all their shows and express their music and songs.......thousands and thousands of listeners. Everyone helps a little......we help more.

WWW.THENAIL1.COM ( click on " radio show " on the left index on our home page. LISTEN AT ANYTIME )

** Do you have a contact with a college radio station ? Any help to air our FREE show would be greatly appreciated. We are here to help the local bands of our communities. Our format is simple. We interview bands. The bands express their opinions and songs through their music.......with alittle fun too. ** This would increase our relationship with your band and The Nail nightclub.**

We made our point ............work hard , respect , and promote. All businesses.....whether in a band or selling corn on the cob ........everyone should have this mentality and attitude.

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SUNDAY           7 - 25 - 10

AGAIN , WE WILL TRY ANOTHER ATTEMPT IN FIXING OUR A/C UNIT. MONDAY MORNING I WILL MEET THE TECHNICIANS AND WE WILL SEE.

AGAIN.....I NEED BOOZE TO WHISK ME AWAY FROM REALITY. AT LEAST THIS IS WHAT I KEPT TELLING MY BROTHER-IN-LAW.   IT WAS HIS BIRTHDAY AND HE TREATED US TO THE " CLUB ". THIS VERY EXCLUSIVE CLUB HAS MONEY AND BLUE BLOODS WITH WONDERFUL GRASS COURTS AS FAR AS YOUR EYE CAN SEE. THE KIDS PLAYED ON IT AS THEY WAITED FOR THEIR DINNER.

FREE DRESS ? YEP.........A WAITER SPILLED A GLASS OF BEER DOWN THE BACK OF MY YOUNGEST. THE MANAGER IMMEDIATELY TOOK HER AND WHEELS TO THEIR PRO SHOP FOR A FULL CHANGE OF CLOTHES. SHE RECEIVED A TENNIS DRESS. IT IS A BEAUTIFUL LITTLE OUTFIT. SHE LOOKS LIKE A SMALL YOUNG CHRIS EVERT.

STOPPED BY MY BROTHER'S HOUSE TO HELP HIM FIX HIS COMPUTER. BOY , I THOUGHT I WOULD NEVER WRITE THAT STATEMENT EVER , BUT I HAVE COME A LONG WAY WITH COMPUTERS......AND BY A LONG WAY I MEAN 2 FEET.

PHILLIES WIN A SQUEAKER ? LIDGE MAKES US NEUROTIC ? YES TO BOTH OF THESE QUESTIONS.

A COOL " APP "........HOLD YOUR CELL PHONE TO THE SKY AND IT SHOWS YOU EXACTLY WHAT CONSTELLATION YOUR LOOKING AT. ALSO A POLICE SCANNER AND A REAL PICTURE OF A LIGHTER AND IT LIGHTS UP ! ( LESS THE HEAT FROM THE FLAME )......FOR THE TIMES YOU ARE AT A CONCERT.

NICE.......... WAKING UP TO ALL PHONES AND INTERNET SHUT DOWN......YEP......JUST PUT IT ON THE PILE.

HERE'S A QUESTION FOR WHEELS............WOULD YOU GO TO BERMUDA ( WITHOUT ME AND THE KIDS ) IF THE HOTEL AND MEALS WERE FREE ?

MONDAY                7 - 27 - 10

DUE TO INTERNET AND PHONE PROBLEMS I COULD NOT UPDATE THIS WEBSITE AND CALL BANDS YESTERDAY.

A/C AT THE NAIL........0 FOR 3 AND .......0 FOR 4. I MET WITH THE TECH GUYS EARLY THIS MORNING. WE EVACUATED ALL FREON THE UNIT AND STARTED FRESH.   WE HAD THE UNIT BLOWING AT 43 DEGREES. THAT IS DAMN GOOD. IT LASTED ABOUT 8 HOURS AND THE TEMPS ROSE BACK UP TO 65 DEGREES.

WE DID SOME MAJOR CLEANING OF ALL THE CONDENSERS AND COMPRESSORS ALONG WITH LIGHT FIXTURES AND SUCH AT THE NAIL. WE SEALED THE " BAR SIDE " UNIT WITH SILVER INSULATING TAPE WHERE THE UNIT IS LOCATED IN OUR HALLWAY. SOME OTHER THINGS WERE CLEANED BUT UNFORTUNATELY , WE FOUND OUT ANOTHER PROBLEM WITH OUR " BAR SIDE " A/C. APPARENTLY , IT HAS A DUAL " SQUIRREL " CAGE TO PUSH THE AIR. WE CLEANED THE INSIDE AT FOUND OUT ONLY ONE CAGE WAS REVOLVING. DAMN IT.....THE CRAP PILE JUST KEEPS GETTING HIGHER. I REPLACED THIS MOTOR 10 YEARS AGO AND IT WORKED WELL. BUT THE QUESTION IS....HOW LONG HAS OUR " BAR SIDE " A/C RUNNING ON HALF POWER FOR PUSHING AIR.......DAMN IT !

WHEELS AND I LEAVE FOR THE PHILLIES GAME AT 11AM. WE ARE TREATED TO SUPER SUITE 35 BEHIND HOME PLATE , A SIT-DOWN LUNCH , V.I.P. PARKING , AND THE PHILLIES PHANATIC COMING IN OUR SUITE FOR PICTURES. THE REASON FOR ALL THIS.......MY BROTHER-IN-LAW'S BIRTHDAY. IT IS REALLY A TREAT TO EXPERIENCE A GAME LIKE THIS.

THE PHILLIES WON THE GAME 5-4 WITH BRAD LIDGE MAKING IT QUITE INTERESTING TO SAY THE LEAST. THE PHILS ARE QUIETLY PUTTING A LITTLE RUN TOGETHER.

BACK HOME AND WHEELS TAKES THE KIDS TO THEIR SWIM TEAM PARTY AND AWARD CEREMONY. THEY HAD A FUN TIME WITH PIZZA , ICE CREAM , AND FLOATS IN THE POOL. OUR YOUNGEST , WHO IS UNDEFEATED THUS FAR IN THE BACK STROKE GOT A TROPHY FOR " MOST IMPROVED " BACK STROKE. THEY HAVE ONE MORE MEET.

I RAN TO THE NAIL. LUCKILY , I WAS THERE THIS MORNING AND SPENT ABOUT 3 HOUR CLEANING AND SETTING UP. I DID MEET WITH THE MERCURY AMUSEMENT GUYS WHO SWITCHED OUR DEER HUNTING MACHINE TO BOWLING. THE GAME SEEMS KINDA COOL.

THE A/C TECHS RETURNED TO THE NAIL AT 8PM AT NIGHT. THEY TRIED ANOTHER TECHNIQUE TO FIX OUR PROBLEM. IT SEEMS WE HAVE TO GO THROUGH A SERIES OF STAGES AND " PROCESS OF ELIMINATIONS " TO FINALLY GET THIS THING FIXED.............NO GO.

OFF TO CATCH THE END OF THE NIGHT WITH THE KIDS AND THEIR TROPHY PARTY. OUR ELDEST GOT A VERY COOL SWEAT JACKET.

BACK HOME TO END THE NIGHT WITH A NIGHTCAP AND PLAY SOME POKER WITH B.B. I WAS AT HOME AND B.B. WAS AT THE NAIL. WE FINALLY GOT TO SIT A TABLE TOGETHER AND CONGRATS GO TO HIM FOR WINNING 1ST PLACE.

TUESDAY                   7 - 28 - 10

IT'S OFFICIAL......OUR A/C IS IRREPARABLE.     NOW THE DAUNTING TASK OF CALLING 100 A/C COMPANIES. I WILL START MEETING WITH COMPANIES AND MAKE A DECISION BY WEEKS END. THIS WILL HURT ALITTLE.

THE ORIGINAL A/C COMPANY NEVER CALLED ME BACK. THEY WERE OUT 3 TIMES. PROMISED TO CALL ME ( THAT WAS LAST SATURDAY )

WEEDING.....MY NEMESIS. THIS TIME THE BACK YARD FOR ABOUT 3 TRASHCAN FULLS.

OUR BUTTERFLY TREE GROWS LIKE A WEED AND I HAVE CUT IT BACK 10 TIMES SINCE PLANTING IT.........BUT DAMN IF IT DON'T ATTRACT BUTTERFLIES.

KNOW WHAT EATS UP TIME ?.......DROVE BOTH KIDS TO SWIM PRACTICE ( DIFFERENT TIMES OF COURSE , BUT ON MY MOTORCYCLE ) , TO HOME DEPOT , TO THE LIBRARY , TO KMART , TO D.M.I. SUPPLY , TO THE NAIL .......AND THAN BACK HOME TO MAKE BAND PHONE CALLS. THE DAYLIGHT IS ALMOST OVER BY NOW.

DID ALITTLE DINNER WITH WHEELS AND THE KIDS.

TOOK THE KIDS TO THE POOL.......ALWAYS COOL.

BACK HOME FOR A ONE AND ONE AND WATCH OUR PHILLIES CONTINUE THEIR WIN STREAK.

DEADLIEST CATCH FINALE.......EH....SO SO.

WEDNESDAY             7 - 28 - 10

THE LAST SWIM FOR OUR YOUNGEST AND SHE PUT HER UNDEFEATED STATUS ON THE TABLE. THIS TIME GRAND MOM GOT TO SEE HER SWIM FOR THE FIRST TIME. WELL , OUR YOUNGEST DID NOT DISAPPOINT FOR SHE WON HER " BACKSTROKE " AGAIN. SHE HAS WON EVERY EVENT IN THE BACKSTROKE THIS SEASON. THIS IS SO BIG FOR HER BECAUSE SPORTS AND CONFIDENCE DO NOT MIX FOR HER. IN FACT , 10 MINUTES BEFORE THE MEET SHE DID NOT WANT TO GO. GRAND MOM WAS ELATED.

INSURANCE.......REMEMBER OUR CONDO AND ALL THAT CRAP WE WENT THROUGH ? WELL , BEFORE WE WENT ON VACATION WE WERE TOLD 2 WEEKS MR. FIELDING.   WHEELS TALKED TO OUR AGENT TODAY.........GUESS WHAT ?.........ADD 2 MORE WEEKS TO IT. ALL THIS MONEY WE " FRONTED " DEFINITELY HURT. I JUST WONDER HOW SOME CLIENTS GET BY WHEN THEY HAVE TO FRONT ANY MONEY TO REBUILD THEIR HOME.   IT COMES DOWN TO ONE THING.........A F'N JOKE.

THEIR MOTTO , " IF WE ARE NOT ON TIME......THE JOB IS FREE. " THIS WAS AN A/C COMPANY I WAS SUPPOSE TO MEET WITH FOR AN ESTIMATE.........THEY NEVER SHOWED UP.

K'S LAST WEEK ON THE EAST COAST. GOTTA THANK HER FOR BARTENDING DOWN HERE. I LIKE HER AND I LOVED HER ATTITUDE AND MOTTO........." KILL THEM WITH KINDNESS ". I THOUGHT THEY MIGHT SHOW UP TONIGHT FOR A VISIT WHICH I WAS GOING TO DO AN OPEN BAR FOR HER AND THE BOYFRIEND FOR AS LONG AS THEY STAYED. EITHER WAY...........GOOD LUCK !

OUR PHIGHTIN PHILS STAY IN THE HUNT BY WINNING BIG BEHIND OUR ACE HALLADAY. IN THIS SERIES AGAINST ARIZONA , WE SHOULD BEAT THEM TO KEEP OUR PLAYOFF CHANCES ALIVE. THIS NEW KID BROWN HAS POTENTIAL. HE REMINDS ME OF A YOUNG KEN GRIFFEY JUNIOR.

IS IT ME OR IS AMY FADOOL A PIECE OF ASS ?

EAGLES TALK......YEP , IT IS CREEPING UP. WE HAVE THE YOUNGEST DEFENSE IN THE NFL........YIPE.

CUTTING LAWNS..........NOT ALWAYS FUN.

I TOLD MYSELF I NEED TO DO A GOOD DEED. I BELIEVE IN KARMA. IF YOU DO SOMETHING GOOD THAN 3 GOOD THINGS WILL HAPPEN TO YOU. IF YOU DO SOMETHING BAD........3 BAD THINGS WILL HAPPEN TO YOU.   I KNOW THIS SOUNDS SOMETHING LIKE B.B. WOULD RIP APART BUT HEY.........JUST BEING NICE AND DOING CHARITY FOR SOMEONE IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO.    WELL , WE HAVE OLD NEIGHBORS ACROSS THE STREET WHO HAD THEIR A/C GO DOWN. WHEELS VISITED THEM WITH OUR PUPPY 2 DAYS AGO TO SAY HELLO AND THIS IS HOW WE FOUND OUT. SHE CALLS ME AND I TEST OUR A/C UNIT SITTING IN THE GARAGE. I ALSO CLEAN IT UP AND PREP ALL TOOLS AND ACCESSORIES FOR MOUNTING IT. THE ELDERLY COUPLE TOLD WHEELS TO CALL TOMORROW FOR 8PM TONIGHT WAS TOO LATE TO INSTALL IT.........THEY WERE GOING TO BED.   I GET A CALL THE NEXT DAY FROM THE ELDERLY MAN. HE TELLS , " I AM LOOKING AT THE FORECAST AND I THINK WE CAN SURVIVE COMFORTABLY UNTIL OUR NEW UNIT COMES IN NEXT WEEK. " MY GOOD DEED IS THWARTED. I WONDER IF THIS COUNTS ?   I AM HOPING FOR 3 LITTLE GOOD THINGS TO HAPPEN.

I HAD A VERY FUN HAPPY HOUR AND NIGHT. LOTS OF LAUGHS.

A QUOTE FROM A PLAYER AT A 2/7 JACKPOT CASH GAME TO ME , " I AM GOING TO HUNT YOU DOWN AND KILL YOU ". HERE'S THE REASONS:

1 - I ENTER THE TABLE WITH $20 AND IN THE BIG BLIND. MY VERY 1ST HAND I HAVE 4/6 SUITED. THE ANGRY GUY RAISES 3 TIMES THE BLIND AND I CALL. I FLOP TRIPS AND HE BETS. I SMOOTH CALL AND A JACK HITS ON THE TURN. HE GOES " ALL IN " AND I " INSTA " CALL.   I DOUBLE UP. HE IS FURIOUS THAT I CALLED A RAISE WITH 4/6.

2 - JUST 4 HANDS LATER HE IS NOW THE BIG BLIND. HE WRITES VERY NAUGHTY THINGS ABOUT ME DURING THE LAST 3 HANDS. I AM DEALT AN ACE/QUEEN AND GO " ALL IN " ON HIS BIG BLIND. HE IS SO PISSED I AM PUSHING HIS BLIND AND WRITES , " YOU THINK YOUR GOING TO SUCK OUT AGAIN !@#%!!*! JACKASS ? !!! ".......AND HE CALLS WITH POCKET JACKS.   I FLOP 2 PAIR AND HIT A " BOAT " ON THE RIVER. LET'S JUST SAY HE DID NOT STOP WRITING BAD THINGS ABOUT ME UNTIL I LEFT THE TABLE.

3 - THIS IS A " 2/7 JACKPOT " TABLE. THIS SIMPLY MEANS......IF YOU WIN A HAND BY ANY MEANS WITH 2/7.....YOU GET THE TABLE'S POT WHICH HAS BEEN ACCUMULATING DURING THE PLAY. A NICE SIZE POT INDEED. ABOUT 15 MINUTES LATER I AM DEALT POCKET " BITCHES " ( QUEENS ). I RAISE THE BLIND 3 TIMES AND PSYCHO BOY RE-RAISES ANOTHER 3 TIMES THE BLIND. I JUST SMOOTH CALL THINKING HE MAY HAVE AN ACE OR A LEGITIMATE HAND. I FLOP TRIPS AND CHECK. HE BETS AND I RE-RAISE. HE GOES " ALL IN " WITH 2/7. HE WAS DRAWING DEAD FROM THE FLOP. I DOUBLE UP AGAIN AND LEAVE THE TABLE WITH HIM WRITING CURSE WORDS A MILE A MINUTE.

THURSDAY           7 - 29 - 10

EVERY ONCE IN AWHILE ONE NEEDS TO GO " CODE RED ".........AND MAN DID I. I WILL NOT GET INTO THE WHO'S , BUT I HAD ENOUGH. MY MOTTO IN LIFE IS , " HOW DON'T CARE HOW FUCKING BIG YOU ARE OR HOW MANY PEOPLE YOUR WITH.......I WILL NEVER EVER BACK DOWN. " I KNEW I WAS GOING OFF SO I TOOK MY PHONE DOWN THE BASEMENT AND INTO A BACK TOOL ROOM. MY KIDS WERE UPSTAIRS. I SCREAMED LIKE A CRACK ADDICT FOR ABOUT 60 SECONDS INTO THE PHONE RECEIVER AND WENT BACK UPSTAIRS. I SAT DOWN AND SAW MY DOG HIDING UNDER THE KITCHEN TABLE AND MY YOUNGEST IN THE FETAL POSITION NEXT TO HER WITH HER THUMB IN THE DOG'S MOUTH. SHE SAID , " WHO WERE YOU SCREAMING AT ? "   I TOLD BOTH MY KIDS WHO I WAS SCREAMING AT AND WHY.

OFFICE CLEANING..........OH MAN , IF YOU EVER SEEN MY OFFICE THERE IS CRAP LOAD OF CRAPPY CRAP ALL OVER THE PLACE. I DECIDED I WOULD SPEND ABOUT 3 HOURS CLEANING AND ORGANIZING. I MUST ADMIT THE PLACE CAME OUT REALLY NICE. SO NICE........MY ELDEST WANTS TO MOVE INTO IT WHILE I MOVE MY OFFICE TO HER ROOM.

I GOT THE AUGUST CALENDARS DONE. THIS IS ALWAYS A SMALL TASK BUT A GOOD FEELING WHEN DONE.

2 BIRDS WITH ONE STONE...........TO FAX OUR CALENDAR TO ALL THE NEWSPAPERS IT TAKES ABOUT 3 HOURS. SO I DECIDED WHILE I WAS STRAIGHTENING UP MY OFFICE I WOULD DO JUST THAT. I CALL MYSELF THE " KING OF MULTI-TASKING ".

NO MATTER HOW YOU LOOK AT IT , OUR NEW A/C WILL COST 5 GRAND...........OUCH MY MAN.

WHEELS GOT SOME VERY GOOD NEWS BACK FROM OUR PUBLIC ADJUSTER FOR OUR CONDO FIRE. WE WILL ACTUALLY MAKE A LITTLE MORE MONEY FROM OUR BAD EXPERIENCE. TO ME , IT IS ACTUALLY BREAKING EVEN OR LOSING MONEY BECAUSE THEY DO NOT ACCOUNT FOR ALL THE TIME I PUT IN. ANYWAY , THE FAMOUS LINE , " GIVE IT 2 WEEKS " , WAS TOLD TO US AGAIN.   YEAH RIGHT.

SOME OTHER VERY GOOD NEWS WHEELS AND I ARE INVOLVED IN ( I'LL TELL AT A FUTURE TIME ). OF COURSE , THIS WAS TRUMPED 10 TIMES OVER BY ME GOING CODE RED ON SOMEONE 1 HOUR LATER. HEY , I GOT TO BE VERY EXCITED FOR ABOUT 55 MINUTES.........I'LL TAKE IT.

" ROY STORY 2 " .............THE PHILLIES PICKED UP ROY OSWALT. THIS MEANS TECHNICALLY THE PHILLIES HAVE 3 NUMBER ONE'S IN THEIR PITCHING STAFF.   THEY HAD ANOTHER GOOD WIN AGAINST A BAD TEAM TONIGHT. WE ALSO PICKED UP ANOTHER GAME ON ATLANTA. NOT A WEEK OR SO AGO WE WERE BEHIND BY 7 GAMES. THAT LEAD HAS BEEN CUT TO 2 1/2.

THIS IS WHY I SHOULD WEAR GLASSES WHILE READING. I DECIDED TO PLAY SOME INTERNET POKER. ONE SMALL GAME LED TO 3. I STARTED ONE 50 CENT GAME AND EVERY PLAYER WAS TAKING THE FULL AMOUNT OF TIME TO PLAY EACH HAND. I SAID , " FUCK THIS " AND GOT IN A 2ND GAME FOR $2. DON'T YOU KNOW THIS TABLE WAS PLAYING SUPER SLOW TOO. I SAID , " FUCK THIS AGAIN " AND ENTERED A 3RD GAME FOR 50 CENTS. NOW PLAYING ALL 3 AT ONCE THE PACE WOULD MOVE AT A NORMAL SPEED FOR ME. I DO NOT KNOW WHICH GAME IS WHICH FOR MONEY AND DON'T CARE.

1ST GAME - I GET KNOCKED OUT ON TRIPS WITH MY ACES. FUNNY THING I ALMOST FOLDED THEM....BUT DIDN'T.

2ND GAME - I GET 2ND PLACE AND CASH FOR $5.70. MY ACE/TEN LOST TO A PLAYERS JACK / 8......GRRRRR.

3RD GAME - THIS IS WHERE IT GETS VERY INTERESTING AND I REALIZE I SHOULD OF BEEN WEARING MY GLASSES. I CASH AND GET KNOCKED OUT IN 3RD PLACE. A SCREEN ALWAYS PROMPTS ON YOUR COMPUTER WHEN YOU WIN MONEY. MY SCREEN SAYS , " CONGRATS , YOU CAME IN 3RD PLACE AND WON $90. "   I SAID TO MYSELF , " $90 ? WHAT THE FUCK ? " I GO BACK AND CHECK THE ITINERARY OF WHEN I ENTERED.........IT WAS A 50 DOLLAR SIT AND GO GAME IN WHICH I THOUGHT IT READ 50 CENTS. THE ONE THING I LEARNED THOUGH.....WHEN I DID NOT KNOW THE MONETARILY AMOUNT , I WAS PLAYING MUCH MORE AGGRESSIVE WHICH USUALLY EQUATES TO WINNING IN THIS GAME.

MY NEIGHBOR GETS A JOB WITH AN OLD OWNER OF THE NAIL........REMEMBER " BIGS " ? GREAT GUY AND MY MENTOR.

BACK HOME TO GET HAMMERED WITH WHEELS AND WATCH THE PHILLIES WIN IN EXTRA INNINGS.

IT IS NOW LATE NIGHT AND THE KIDS ARE IN BED. WHEELS SAYS TO ME , " I FEEL LIKE DOING SOMETHING REALLY SPONTANEOUSLY ". MY ANTENNAS GO UP IMMEDIATELY ALONG WITH ANOTHER THING ON MY BODY.....WINK WINK. I REPLY , " LIKE WHAT ? " SHE SAYS , " LIKE HAVING SEX IN A PUBLIC PLACE. " I RARELY SEE THIS SIDE OF WHEELS EXCEPT WHEN SHE IS DRINKING VODKA. TONIGHT........ SHE WAS DRINKING VODKA. WE GET IN OUR JEEP AND DRIVE TO " BERTUCCI'S RESTAURANT " IN BRYN MAWR.   WE SIT IN A BOOTH AND ORDER DRINKS BUT TELL THE WAITER WE ARE NOT ORDERING FOOD JUST YET.   WHEELS CASUALLY SLIDES BELOW THE TABLE AND BEGINS TO PERFORM SOME OF THE MOST MASTERY ARTWORK ON ME EVER DONE. I AM FREAKING OUT AND REALIZING THIS COULD BE THE SINGLE MOST BESTEST GREATEST AWESOMESS MOMENT OF MY LIFE. LUCKILY , NOT ALOT OF PEOPLE ARE AROUND FOR I FEEL I AM NOT A LIVE " PERFORMING " ARTIST IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.......GUN SHY THAT IS.

   CONTINUING............AFTER SEVERAL MINUTES , WHEELS SMOOTHLY MOVES BACK UP THE BOOTH SEAT AND SAYS , " YOU GOT TO MEET ME IN THE MEN'S ROOM NOW. " I IMMEDIATELY LEAVE WITH A MENU PLACED STRATEGICALLY (YOU KNOW WHERE) ON MY BODY AND A MINUTE LATER WHEELS ENTERS THE MEN'S ROOM. SHE INSTANTLY GRABS ME AND I SPIN HER AROUND. I LIFT HER ONTO A COUNTER TOP AND CLOTHES START FLYING OFF. IF ANYONE COMES IN RIGHT NOW THEY ARE GOING TO SEE A FULL GROWN ELEPHANT HUMPING A BABY WHITE TAILED DEER. I AM SEMI-CONCERNED WITH SOMEONE WALKING IN , BUT CONTINUE MY BUSINESS AND CONCENTRATION.   WHEELS IS WRITHING AND I AM PANTING LIKE A DOG IN A HEAT WAVE.    AROUND 5 MINUTES LATER , I RELEASE " THE HOUNDS " AND IT IS OVER.   WE WALK OUT OF THE BATHROOM ONE AT A TIME AND GET BACK TO OUR BOOTH. WHEELS LIGHTS UP A SMOKE AND SAYS..................DREAM ENDS.

FRIDAY          7 - 30 - 10

I SPENT TIME FIXING THE " BAR SIDE " A/C. I REMEMBER I REPLACED THE DUAL MOTOR YEARS AGO. THE " SQUIRREL " CAGE IS BROKE ON ONE SIDE WHICH TOTALLY RESTRICTS THE MOVEMENT OF AIR. TODAY I DID A TOTAL MACGYVER AS A TEST AND FIXED IT. WHAT A DIFFERENCE ! IT WORKED LIKE A CHARM. I KNOW THIS IS A TEMPORARY FIX AND I WILL RETURN TOMORROW TO TRY TO MAKE IT PERMANENT.

HANGING WITH " THE DOCTOR ".   IN MY SKINNY DAYS I USED TO BE ABLE TO JUMP LIKE A RABBIT. IN FACT , I USED TO BE ABLE TO DUNK A BASKETBALL........IMAGINE THAT FOR A 6 FOOT WHITE GUY ? ANYWAY , AN OLD FRIEND PULLED UP IN THE BACK PARKING LOT. I CALL HIM " THE DOCTOR " TOO AS WE PLAYED BASKETBALL TOGETHER YEARS AGO AND OUR FAVORITE PLAYER WAS JULIUS " THE DOCTOR " ERVING.   WE TALKED FOR 2 HOURS AND IT WAS VERY GOOD TO SEE HIM. HE ALSO BARTENDED FOR US TOO.

WHEELS GOES TO BROTHER'S HOUSE FOR A NICE LITTLE DINNER. SHE MADE IT OFFICIAL TO ME TODAY.......HER AND MY SISTER-IN-LAW WILL TRAVEL TO BERMUDA NEXT SUMMER TOGETHER.

I STAYED HOME FOR I WAS PRETTY BEAT FROM THE WORK I JUST DID AT THE NAIL. I DID WATCH " TERMINATOR SALVATION ". I THOUGHT IT WAS GOOD.

PHILLIES..........WORSE TRADE EVER........BLOW.